by Mac a'Bhaird

Created on: December 29, 2009

Marriage will not only reveal the hair line cracks that were not visible before, it will CREATE cracks that weren’t there before. The good news is, that the right bonding to those cracks can make things stronger than ever before.

The first thing to learn is that preventative measures are much easier to repair than picking up broken pieces. Don't wait to try to mend it after it breaks!

Secondly, if your romance is on the skids, so is your MARRIAGE. No, don't think for a minute that your marriage can survive without intimacy. If your action or your partner's action causes a dearth in intimacy, consider that a warning light on your automobile... this one is flashing 'pull over and call tow truck'. Here's what you need to do: BOTH OF you need to know the consequences of lack of communication. Now, it is highly unlikely that both in a relationship are equally as open and communicative. Most of the time, it's one or the other. And if the avid communicator ever gives up, that's the beginning of the end. What I am saying is that communication is the key. You must be open and communicate needs. You must have regular times that you sit down and discuss your emotional needs. If you don’t do this, it’s just a matter of time before you’ll be sweeping up the pieces.

Ok, that’s the easy part. Now, hold on, here we go. Understand that your partner's needs are every bit as important as yours. This is where we GROW UP. Anyone can make babies, but can you keep the family together? Years ago I worked for a sales company. It wasn't a boiler room operation; actually, it was my job to go to people’s homes and assess their NEEDS and do what was best for the client, whether or not it resulted in a sale. And I was told, that if all I did was take care of people's needs, MY NEEDS would be met! Hey, guess what? That's just like love! Love is when you take care of someone else's need first!

Of course, love is when you do things for people without expectation. Yet in a love relationship, there is a certain expectation, otherwise, you'll end up raising a big kid! How many wives say their husbands are really just a big kid? And kids don't figure in intimacy. Got it? It's got to be a two way street.

To a man, a romantic scenario would be if his wife came up to him, softly touching his side and say: ‘lovie, my back really itches, could you scratch it for me?” ooh la la!  And a romantic scenario to a woman would be if he came up to her and said, ‘Honey, this next week I am taking some time off to get some things accomplished around here. Can you make me a fresh ‘to do’ list around the house?"

Son of a gun, are we ever wired differently.

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