by Holly Rogers

Created on: December 29, 2009

Moving in together with your partner for the first time is one of the biggest life changing experiences many individuals face over a life time. Often the commitment of moving in together is second only to that of having children when considering the impact it has on your lifestyle. However, for many women the impact of moving in with their boyfriend for the first time can often be much bigger than the reverse situation, especially if moving straight out of the family home for the first time.

We are all aware of the stereotype men receive when it comes to housework and general cleanliness. Men are known for their many bad habits, such as leaving clothes and wet towels on the floor, dirty dishes in the sink and failing to do chores unless told twenty times. The list goes on and on, much to the horror of their unsuspecting girlfriends. Of course there are exceptions to this stereotype, however good habits often require years of training and enhancement. This can come as a massive reality shock for the unsuspecting girlfriend, who is neat, tidy and organised.

Often our living habits come from our family home. If your partner comes from a household where each individual member was expected to be independent and proactive with chores, your transition into your new living arrangements will be much easier. However if your partner comes from the opposite extreme, where their mother or other family member did virtually all the chores, then you are up for a challenge. For this reason, it is often a good idea to find out a bit of background about the household your partner comes from before moving in together, so you know what to expect.

Before moving out, always make a bit of a plan with your partner. For example, it is vital you discuss budgeting and how you will pay the joint and individual finances of your household. This is extremely important to know prior to moving out together and have a plan of attack if one or the other is experiencing financial strain. Next, it is definitely important to discuss who plans to do what with the household chores. For example, you may wish to delegate certain tasks so they are evenly weighted between the two of you. Or you may wish to determine a plan that both of your contributes to all the chores equally. Either way, make sure your boyfriend is aware that he will be completing his share of household chores, as you are not his mother and you are not about to become a substitute for one. The worst mistake any woman can make when moving in with their partner for the first time is simply doing all the housework in the beginning, with the hope that your partner would start helping later. This will only result in him learning that you will do it anyway, and being very resistant to change in the future.

Remember men and women also have very different living habits. It may be normal for him to wear his footy shorts for a week straight without washing or to walk around the house in nothing but a towel for hours. Some of these habits are simply due to the differences in gender and it is important we all learn to compromise and accept certain habits of our partner, as challenging as this may be in the beginning. It does get easier and with enough pre-planning and organisation, you will hopefully find yourself living in harmony with your boyfriend in no time.

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