by Rhonda Gail Tremaine

Created on: December 28, 2009

There is only one reason to get married. That is, you are in love with another human being and want to spend the rest of your life with that person. Any other reason is superficial. If you are unsure about an impending marriage or an engagement, then you will end up marrying for the wrong reasons. Why? If you are in love with the other person, you will know. Sure, slight doubts attributable to nerves a few days before the wedding ceremony are not uncommon, but there is a knowing in your gut that you are doing the right thing. So you go ahead and walk down the aisle with the knowledge that in the end, things will work out.

 A marriage that lasts a long time—even if it ends at some point—may be thought of as a good marriage. Serial marriage is tolerated today, and sometimes, partners grow apart or find that the relationship is no longer suitable. Other marriages last for the long haul and fulfill the terms of the "death do us part" pledge. Such couples are lucky to have met their soul mates early in life, but there should not be a sense of failure if in fact a marriage does not last forever. Does that mean all marriages are successes? Hell no! There are very bad reasons to marry.

Dating someone who possesses some nice aesthetic qualities and a good job, but where there is no passion, is certainly reason to run the other way. A marriage that is not attached to a deep desire for the other is one that cannot be successful. Similarly, marrying someone for the lifestyle he or she can provide may resolve a temporary financial problem but will lead to a hollow life filled with things instead of the love that most people desire. Marriage is sometimes entered into as part of an arrangement. Some consider these types of marriages cultural relics of the past, but some people still subscribe to such rituals, or marry in order to please their parents. In this day and age, there is no good reason to go through with marriages of convenience.

Similarly, marriage should not be entered into because your biological clock is ticking. Life unfolds as it is meant to be. Perhaps you are meant to create something else now and the family you want will come later. Marrying too early will prevent you from finding the love of your life. And while it seems that marriage is the ideal for most people, and particularly when it comes to raising a family, the idea of marriage is something that needs to be reexamined anyway. Simply, living with your love interest is something worth pursuing, whether there is a marriage contract in the mix or not. As a legal matter, marriage is not an enticing arrangement, but it is what society sanctions and has some merit. So if you do choose to walk down that aisle, do so with the knowledge that you are engaging in this deal for the long haul and that this is the person that you do love and want to live with. Any other reason does not suffice.

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