by Chris Stubbs

Created on: December 27, 2009   Last Updated: December 28, 2009

There are two types of opinions that can have the effect of coming between friends:  opinions that insult the other and opinions that have been taken as an insult.

When people personalize their view of the world, and consider that view a static reality, they open the door for the intrusion of misconception. Without realizing that all experience in life changes the very fabric of what life is, people can begin take hold of shallow realities that comfort them. When these realities are challenged, they begin to destroy the connections that threaten them. This can be seen in stone throwing arguments and in people that avoid social interaction completely. A person may have expressed an opinion that threatened someone’s sense of security, and that someone begins to do the same. These perceived insults can be prevented if you have the will to do so, but people tend to surround themselves with people of the same level of their social abilities. Insults and pain can cloud the air and by the time it's too late, they have forgotten the reason they were even talking in the first place.

People often believe that everyone has the right to every opinion, but that doesn't really mean anything at all when it comes to how we relate to others. The belief that everyone as the right to an opinion only means that everyone perceives the world in their own way. What people do with their opinions is a completely different story. When someone believes they have the right to their opinion, it can be because of different reasons. A good reason would be that someone wants to act on an opinion to better a situation for people. A bad reason would be because someone wants to change people for their own benefit or comfort (in some cases). When someone properly proposes their opinion it is done in a persuasive and respectful manor, then that opinion matters.

Too many times, people throw their opinions at people and just expect them to get it; those people would do well to not even open their mouths to begin with. When someone disagrees, the lazy person curls up into a dome of protection, and doesn't believe they have to explain themselves. This is when their opinion becomes an insult. It is the same as telling someone they are stupid for not understanding, as well as saying to them that they are not worth the time or effort required for explanation. Opinions that are not formed and expressed as a means for the creation and persuasion of better circumstance, only do harm, and are formed from spite and mental sloth. So, this being said, it is not the opinions that come between friends at all, it is the disrespectful and ignorant ways with which we express ourselves. 

Opinions that are taken as insults are the result of insecurities. A person that feels insulted, when they are not being insulted, is suffering from defeating internal dialog that wreaks havoc in all of their interactions. Any critical information is taken as a means to threaten their security and must be blocked by all means.  Love for ourselves and others is the only way to bridge the gap of misunderstanding. Having the insatiable hunger for life, like a child has, shows us that all contradiction are a means to a better understanding, and with that insight all adversity will bow before you.

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