by Lokemun Magar

Created on: December 27, 2009

What are the best steps to help foster positive student-teacher relationships? Bear in mind that learning is relational. Students can never learn well under teachers they do not respect. Without the right chemistry between students and their teachers, the classroom become a constant battle ground or the result of a cold war.

Teachers are instrumental in fostering positive student-teacher relationships. Respect is earned, not coerced or encroached on. Teachers and parents would do well to collaborate in the following ways:

Teach students to be the main communication channel between their teachers and their parents. This is done through teaching students what is to be said to the parents or the teachers and how to pass a message through verbal or written means.

Always keep an open mind when there is a communication breakdown. Children are children, and with their less developed mental capacity, they are bound to mess up on messages to be carried home, or to school.

Have a checking system such as a notebook for parents and teachers to write notes to each other, to be kept with the child so that parents and teachers can check occasionally for notes to each other, endorse when read, and check if the notes have been passed to the relevant person.

Put the young child at ease, and not in fear. Differences in approaches to child-rearing will arise – no two persons can be raised in exactly the same manner, even if they are siblings. Communication is a two-way process, so even if parents and teachers do not agree on home or school practices, always check with the child what is most comfortable for him. A young child can never learn well under fearful or uncomfortable conditions in the classroom.

Parents should let the child know that parental authority has been delegated to school teachers when the child is at school. In other words, if the child is praised by the teacher, the child has done something good. If the child is reprimanded by the teachers, he could have done something unacceptable during the teacher's lesson. Get the child to understand why he is praised or reprimanded, and carry the correct message home to his parents. When in doubt concerning the exact details, parents could always give the teachers a call.

When in doubt, check it out with the school or the parents. Teachers and parents should never forecast or have pre-conceived ideas on what the other want to communicate. In other words, if clarifications need to be sought, give the other party a call, or make a visit so that face to face communication, in the child's presence, can be carried out. The child needs to realise the importance of carrying the right messages to the teachers or the parents, and under non-threatening circumstances.

Keep communication focussed on the students' needs, not personal agenda and how parents, teachers and students can work together to meet the needs. Students will then not see the adults closest to them being in conflict with their own personal goals, at least some of them, and will be more willing to work with the teachers towards their goals.

Even if the teachers do not seem to deserve it, show appreciation for them on at least an occasion during the school year, for example, on Teacher's Day. Parents show the way to inculcate respect for others.

Explain teachers' actions in ways acceptable to students, even if they may seem unacceptable. Nobody is perfect. In learning empathy, students learn to interpret situations amicably, and learn to forgive. 

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