by L.B. Woodgate

Created on: December 24, 2009   Last Updated: December 26, 2009

Premarital sex is an issue that derives from a culture that has a basis for thinking that it can do more harm than good or violates religious doctrine. The sexual act between a man and a woman is an intimate part of their relationship. Such a relationship cannot continue if there is not only sex but satisfying sex for both partners. Clearly premarital sex needs to be discouraged with sexually active teens. Sexual intercourse at will by those who are physically able to do so doesn’t mean they should. This cheapens the act and can contribute to health problems associated with sexually transmitted diseases (STD’s). Aside from this though, what are the origins that some today deem premarital sex taboo?

Until the invention of artificial birth control the act of sex was likely to result in a pregnancy. It is a likely scenario that in prehistoric times families were the result of sexual intercourse and the ensuing birth of a child. Out of necessity then a man and woman were likely to commit to each other for the long term. Not only had their personal relationship been solidified with sexual intimacy but now a shared off-spring necessitated a joint effort to raise the child. The concept of matrimony was a later invention by religious cultures based on their rendering of traditions that ultimately became coded in what we term “holy scriptures”.

Thus the act of sex before marriage was not only natural but necessary for the clan and ultimately civilization to grow and expand. Conventional sexual mores that many live by today and consider pre-marital sex taboo probably evolved from paternalistic cultures that put a premium on virginity. By virtue of the single “y” chromosome women were more abundant than men. Since women were so “cheap” their value was less than a man in such cultures. A woman who had already slept with another man was considered damaged goods thus diminishing her value even greater in that society.

As religious cultures evolved within this paternalistic mind set a notion developed that associated virginity and marriage, serving to enforce the concept of purity that many attributed to their deities. As time passed we find that there was a need for women to push for marriage before sex to insure security within dominant male societies. Without a means to provide the basics for them, women for the most part in most cultures simply would not survive. Marriage insured this means. Withholding sex prior to the ceremony legitimized them and thus their security.

Today, such notions are antiquated. Women in Western Cultures have advanced to the point that their security is not dependent on men and where virginity no longer has value in modern societies. Thus the restrictions imposed on lovers to abstain from sex doesn’t carry the legitimacy it once did. Relationships have always revolved around the intimacy between partners. Sexual intercourse is the ultimate expression of that intimacy.

Responsible, mature adults should not feel compelled to refrain from natural urges. But it does need to be said that pre-marital sex is indeed cheapened if it is not a part of an intimate, meaningful relationship. Without heartfelt sincerity, sex before or after the marriage, will not sustain a relationship. Best to remove the social taboos and educate young people about meaningful relationships and sex’s role in it than simply imposing some archaic religious dogma.

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