by Mark G. Sullivan

Created on: December 24, 2009

We all at sometime in our lives have to deal with a difficult person. It could be a neighbor, coworker, a fellow parent, or even as much as we dread our child's teacher. How that person is dealt with will determine the stress level in our lives.

Difficult people suck the life out of anybody close if they are allowed to. The havoc they create in other lives and their daily routines trickles down to affect others. Soon the calm and composed become a mirror image of the difficult person without being aware of the change. The only winner in this event is those we are trying to avoid.

So how can we deal with difficult people while not becoming stressed out?

Accept the person for who they are. Yes, those that are difficult quite often upset the routines we have come to know. No matter how these people are handled, talked to, explained to, pleaded with, we end up with the same result. So to maintain control of one’s emotions, let them be who they are. Learn how to deal with them, avoid being in their presence and if a coworker, set up a way of working around them.

Learn to stay calm in all situations especially when dealing face to face with the difficult person. They thrive on the chaotic so once they realize they have the upper hand the stress is taken to another level. Bring them back to reality by maintaining a relaxed and controlled composure.  

Another avenue is to keep the difficult person close. The quote, “Always keep your friends close, but your enemies closer” can apply to that one that raises the stress level just by being near. As strange as it sounds applying this strategy can make life easier.  Whether a family member or coworker, letting them feel they are in control lessens their ability to affect the whole.

Having previous experiences dealing with exceptionally difficult people has taught me to take the time to figure out why they set-up roadblocks, then use this knowledge to clear the path.

Do they have an emotional situation that sets them off? Do they live by themselves and as a result lost touch with people skills? Has the current economic downturn changed their attitude towards others? Age surprisingly gives the difficult person the impression what they have to say or think is the only thought that matters.

Knowing the reason why this person is the way they are can reduce stress. Using this information to create an action plan, and then used when needed will produce an atmosphere of calm. The result is neutralizing the effect the difficult person can have when in their presence.

The chance of changing the difficult person's behavior is slim at best. Those who become stressed and out-of-sorts when in their presence need to take charge of the moment. These examples of how to maintain composure and control of the encounters will do well to include them when dealing with the dreaded difficult person.

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