by B. E. Shaw

Created on: December 23, 2009

I am a Black man who spent his childhood in the South, in Dallas, Texas, and part of the time on the west coast; I was born in Oakland, CA.  I attended three High Schools, my sophomore year in Dallas; junior year at Oakland High School, and graduated from a High School in Dallas.  Therefore, my childhood consisted of moving back and forth between Dallas, Texas and the San Francisco Bay Area.  

My west coast and southern US, balancing act continued into my adult life.  In 1991 I relocated from the San Francisco Bay Area to Atlanta, Georgia, where I currently reside.  Just thought I'd give a brief rundown on my history in order to show that I do have some authority on the subject of "Why Black Men are Fond of White Women."  Also, I've been single most of my adult life (married once for six years) and have dated Black, White, and Asian women.

First of all, the title of the article is a bit misleading and presumptuous.  One must understand that most single (and married men in many cases) heterosexual black men are fond of WOMEN period.  Color, for the most part, really does not matter.  It matters in the Southern part of the United States but on the West Coast, Pacific Northwest, and in some Northern states, it's really not an issue.  We are fond of women, and fond of the type that we like, ie., heavy, thin, medium build, cute butt, breast, etc.  That is where the fondness comes into play, not the color of the skin.  There are African American women who are of a lighter hue than Caucasian women, therefore, as a Black man you have various shades to choose from within the Black race alone.  Then there's the beige, almond colored, beautiful Asian woman, that is also on the single man's list.

Long gone are the days of curiosity, which may have been the case for some Black men decades ago.  For the most part, across the board, it is simply a matter of whether or not you have chemistry with this particular woman, who just happens to be another race.  Society, especially in the South, only sees a Black Man with a White Woman.  They do not understand, nor do they care to understand that the two people may very well have a history together.  Case in point.  One of my best friends happens to be a Caucasian lady who grew up in Oakland, CA., in a predominantly black neighborhood.  She married a Black Man.  They were married for almost 20 years before divorcing.  A few summers ago, she came to Atlanta to visit for a week.  We went to a Waffle house in Norcross, GA.  An older, Caucasian waitress appeared to be straight off the set of Mayberry, RFD, as she actually had a difficult time serving us.  My good friend was actually taken aback by the behavior of the waitress because she had not seen that type of reaction, coming from the Bay Area.  We also went to a restaurant in Downtown Atlanta on Auburn Ave and received rather unfriendly stares from a few of the African American women who were there.  

Here's the bottom line folks.  No one knew the history that my friend and I shared.  At the time, we had been friends (and still are) for 20 years.  She has a heart of gold and it has nothing to do with the color of her skin or my "fondness" for her as a "white woman."

I've dated Black, White, and married an Asian woman (now divorced) and not once did the color of their skin factor into my decision to date or not to date.  It's almost 2010 folks, it's time to put skin color to rest.

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