by Chris Stubbs

Created on: December 22, 2009

What I have learned from being homeless:

What is the big deal? I eat better as a homeless man, than I did working 80 hours a week. I am surrounded by pretty people who care - people who do not know that I have made the choice to be here. Amazement overcomes me when I see the joy, with which, they feed the ungrateful mouths that surround me. I laugh at the pain people feel when someone is sent out into the cold. They do not see the hearts that have been broken, and the souls that the homeless man may have destroyed. Forgiveness comes to mind, and I wonder if the cold piss laden man has the soul left to forgive a thing. I wonder if I will ever forgive myself.

Homeless people have been called lazy, and for the most part, we are the laziest people on earth.  Many of us have the laziness to assume we would be better off dead. Some believe in poverty as much as they believe in their own breath. They see that anything worth having will eventually be taken away by the Man that surrounds them. So laziness? Why not? The thoughts, that come to mind when they think about getting something better, are laced with doubt and mistrust with the way the world works, and if you do not watch your back, they'll get the better of you.

So what of the image of Will Smith, holding his son, in tears, lying in the dark alley, in "The Pursuit of Happiness"? As a homeless person, I've learned that Homeless people use these images, to deceive you into giving them something for free. I've learned that most homeless parents are homeless because that's who they are, and who they will beat their children to be, when their volunteer’s backs are turned of course. I've learned that crack heads can get clean, get free apartments, and give birth to more crack heads. At times, I wonder what it would hurt to do some drugs. When. I loose everything; I still have 5 free meals and a warm mat to look forward to.

There are those that are truly grateful and will do anything to guard their new opportunities. Those blessed few "attract" the better circumstances to them. They would do well if there were no shelters. If there were no shelters, employers would benefit from prospects that "really" have nothing to loose. What I've learned as a homeless person, is that whatever I do, I can't loose it all unless I die. I imagine I would have a real job, or even write more, if there wasn't so much just handed to me. I'm not complaining, I don't think homelessness is a problem. I won't be here for long, and their will be Churches that love to pour their love out on the streets, long after I'm gone. My final thought, is that some live to feed the homeless. If you eliminated homelessness, what would those people do? If you ask me, the jokes on them, but my tummy feels good. I’d like to go hungry though, if it meant that some of those around me starved as well.

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