by Jeffrey Freeman

Created on: December 21, 2009

"All I Know"

Each day is another day gone
Another day alone
Another day without you

Each day is as bad as the last
The numbness spreads from the core
Leaving unable to feel the pain
But I know it's there

Every time I think about you
Every time I see a picture of you
Every time I hear your name
Every time, all I feel is emptiness

I feel a coldness that spreads
Fills the space where my heart once rested

A space that is empty now
A space that I emptied myself

I will not deny the truth
I will not hide the truth
I will not say that it wasn't my fault
I know better than anyone
It was all my fault

I did all of this
I messed it all up
When it all was so perfect
It was all my fault

If I could change the past
I would change it in a flash
I would make all the things gone bad
Good as they should be

I would travel and meet
With the idiot that was me
And I would knock the sense needed
Right into my own thick skull

I would do all of this
To fix what once was
So that neither of us
Would have to miss the other

The only time I ever want to miss you
Is while I am at work
Or you are at work
I can't stand missing you like this

Waking up every morning in a cold sweat
Feeling you against my chest
Even when you're not
Hearing your voice ringing in my ears

I get very little sleep
Have a hard time getting there
When I do finally sleep
I wake a short time later

Every night I sleep alone
And yet you are still there
Your memory lays next to me
Your arms wrapping around me tightly

I feel you in my dreams
But when I wake up
The image from my dreams
Fades away before my eyes

I so want to hold on
I don't want to give up
I still love you so much
I still want to reach out for you

I don't know what else to say
I don't know what else to do
All I know is that I love you
All I know is that I miss you

I miss you so much
But I still feel you in my heart
I still see your face before my eyes
I can still hear you calling me "Dear"

But when I turn to see you
When I turn to hold you
When I turn to tell you "I love you"
You've already gone...

I search for you
I look for you
I cry out for you
I just plain cry

My heart reaches for you
It can still feel you
My fingertips grasp
But do not quite hold

In everything I do
I see you
In everything I see
I see you

In everything I hear
I hear you
In everything I say
I hear you

In everything I feel
I feel your touch
In every experience I have
I feel you, taste you, smell you...

In everything I do
In everything I say
In everything I hear
In everything I feel...

Only one thing remains the same
Only one thing refuses to change
Only one thing lifts my hopes
And that is that I love you...

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