by Lenna Gonya

Created on: December 18, 2009

Alexander Graham Bell, who, certainly had his share of disappointments, regrets, and frustrations, was quoted as saying, “When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”

This is the outcome for anyone, who concentrates on past mistakes, fixates on their disappointments, and, refuses to move on. It is also the secret of the successful person. They can forge forward with their lives, aware of their shortcomings, but never hamstrung by regrets.

Sometimes we hear people say that if they had their life to do over again, they would do exactly the same things. This is a wonderful sentiment, that few of us can actually claim. It may be true in an overall sense, but no human being can actually say that they wouldn’t do something differently if they had the chance.

People are not perfect, and they make mistakes. Part of being human is the ability to choose, make our own decisions, and set our own course. And, unfortunately, we are not always right. No one is.

If we are really lucky, our deepest regrets can sometimes be remedied. We might mend a broken relationship, finish school, get a better job, or just become determined to change our lifestyle.

The tragedy comes from obsessing on “what might have been”, and not moving forward with our lives. If a regret cannot be “fixed”, then you have two choices.
First you can chalk it up as human error, try, if possible, to do something about it, and go on to do the best you can, or you can let it control the rest of your life.

Often, what we regret most may be just a “grass is always greener” syndrome, and, we may be better off than we think with our current situation.

Depression, alcoholism, drug abuse, are often the outcome of regrets in life that we have let destroy our will to cope. It is easier to block out our failures and shortcomings than to try and change.

In the long run, we do have regrets, but, they shouldn’t ruin our lives, if we remember that we are not alone. We are human, and we make mistakes. We need to forgive ourselves for being the imperfect beings that we are, and, as Bell said, to look at the doors that are opening for us each day.

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