by Rick Shepard

Created on: December 17, 2009   Last Updated: December 21, 2009

Superman was flying around one day and saw Wonder Woman on a roof top sun bathing so he decides to go down for a quick little boom boom! He goes down, does the big nasty and then flies away. Wonder women says what the heck was that? Then the Invisible Man says "I don't know but my butt sure hurts!”

We've all heard jokes like this. The question is should they come out of a kid's mouth?

Many factors come into play when deciding to admonish children who tell smutty jokes. First, comes age. How old is the child? Children don't really understand the concept of 'dirty' jokes until about age eight. Prior to this age, they'll be focused primarily on the response they get from using certain words. From eight years on, their understanding of what 'off-color' means comes into play.

Getting caught telling dirty jokes is simply a way to see how far they can go. It should be explained to younger children that certain words are embarrassing for adults to hear kids say in social settings and therefore should not be used out of respect for others. Children are hard-wired to test their limits with parents. Often they're simply dipping their toe in the water to see if its OK to go for a swim.

Second, context is important. Who is the child telling the joke to, and who's in the room. There's a wide gulf between telling a joke in the corner of the living room to dirty old Uncle George and the pastor at a church social. School-age children will undoubtedly hear dirty jokes on the playground at school since some parents give their children free range in most things. Stopping this behavior would be like attempting to fly. Casually remind the child that depending on which teacher hears this behavior, the discipline could be severe.

What about the type of joke? Some have different levels of 'dirtiness'. A joke laced with profanity and gross sexual or violent images may even be extreme for adults, while many jokes (usually the better ones) leave a little to the imagination. If a child were telling the former the most pressing matter would seem to be where they were hearing them.

Finally, and most importantly, there's the matter of hypocrisy. Children learn vastly more from what they see and hear from the adults in their lives than what they're told. If the child hears dad tell dirty jokes, but they get disciplined for the same behavior, that sends a disconnected message. But don't worry, they'll inform you of this discrepancy in no uncertain language.

Overall, an honest and open relationship with our children should be paramount to the words that sometimes leave their mouths. Family discussions regarding the appropriate time and place to tell dirty jokes really needs to be a priority.

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