by C. Martinez

Created on: December 17, 2009

Texting is a great way to connect with others because it allows you to communicate on your terms. If you want to avoid someone, make texting your primary mode of communication.

Step 1 is use “Radio Silence”.

Ignoring a text is the best way to avoid someone. This is called “Radio Silence”. It is the best avoidance technique out there right now.  People would love to be able to do this in normal conversation. Imagine the possibility of looking someone in the eye and completely ignoring them without looking like the world's biggest jerk.

Step 2 is to blame your phone.

Sometimes people will call you out on ignoring their texts. Simply respond, “My phone is acting up.”  If they ask questions, be very vague.  Say something like, “My phone has been acting strange all day. I called them and they said they might-probably be sending me a new one.” Make no firm statements. Remember, do not text in front of them while making excuses. It weakens your argument.

Sometimes “Radio Silence” and “Blaming Your Phone” will not work. Dense people may believe that your phone really is acting up and will precede to text you more frequently. Often, they will resend the same text several hundred times a minute. This requires a higher order avoidance technique called “ k”.

Step 3 is to reply ‘k’.

If someone insists on texting you and you feel you have to respond. You can avoid them by replying ‘k’ to anything they send to you.  No matter what they send you reply ‘k’.

Them:   I was thnkng ‘bout the other nght and I wnt u to kno that I had a really gr8t time with u… <3.”

You:      k

Them:  “What R U doin this weekend?”  

You:      k

Them:   “It wood be gr8t if U could repay that 20 I lent U.”  

You:      k

When you type ‘k’ you acknowledge the text, but communicate that you don't care. They will understand that they as an individual are not even worth even a 2 letter reply. The extra strength and emotional energy it would take to type the ‘o’ in o.k. is more then they deserve.

‘K’ is the rudest and most annoying text ever. It is equivalent to nails scratching a black board or a fork plunging into your eye. ‘k’ says, ‘I received your text, but I don't care.’ Unfortunately, some people just won't get it.

Step 4 is to respond when they can't.

Respond at awkward times in their day. This takes the pressure off of you.  Chose times when they are working, sleeping, having surgery, in court, or meeting with their boss. They won't be able to respond to your text, and you are now off the hook.

If you meet in person and they ask you why you are responding to them at such inappropriate times revert back to “My Phone is Acting Up.” Let them think your responses are being held in an atmospheric time warp and released to them only when they are busy.

Texting is a great way to avoid people. No one really knows if you receive a text or not.  But, remember to treat others like you want to be treated or you may soon be the one who is avoided.

k.

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