by Jennifer Bioche

Created on: December 17, 2009

The arrival of a new baby is such a momentous occasion for the family. With the first child, there is the reading of all the books, attending child-birthing classes, getting advice from other parents. And for the second? A lot of it depends on your family dynamic, but in general there are some major differences between the first and second experience. 

With a first pregnancy, you can lie on the couch if you’re nauseated. With the second, you’re chasing around a toddler all day, morning sick or not.  With the first, when baby’s napping, all is quiet.  With the second - by the time one kid’s happy, the other isn’t.  

When I was expecting my second, I set out to learn as much as I could about parenting two children. After what seemed like a thousand searches, there was little if anything written about the second baby. Some literature did address the the first-born’s adjustment to the new baby. But it hardly scratched the surface of the reality of life with two kids, something I would end up learning on my own- the hard way.

I was working with the incorrect assumption that since I had already been a mother, I’d be an old pro.  I could change a diaper, operate a car seat, and had the crib waiting in the garage.   When the blessed event did come, talk about a rude awakening.  Think Cheerios on the floor while nursing, crying in stereo, and four rounds of buckling seat belts for a trip to the market.

I was anxious and tired and trying to cope.  I was too proud to ask friends for help, and yet I needed it desperately. The demands of my two year old daughter combined with short nights were taking its toll and I look back on that time with a heavy heart.

Very often we mistakenly think that an experienced mom isn’t affected by the demands of childbirth and the rigors of life with a newborn.  But the truth is, if having a first baby like running a marathon, then a having a second equates to running it on one leg.

But you can have a good experience if you prepare.  If the stork is making an encore delivery to your home, here are the golden rules:

1) Make your recovery the first priority:  Childbirth is a physically and emotionally very demanding experience, whether or not you’ve done it before.   It is not necessary or beneficial to you or the baby to “bounce right back” after labor.  Rushing your recovery can deplete your immune

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