by Melissa Miles McCarter

Created on: December 17, 2009

Sometimes thinking outside of the box allows you to come up with some great rules that work to discipline your children. Here are some suggestions to get you started:

If you ask for something more than once, you won't get it. When a child asks for a big ticket item like a Nintendo DS or a trip to Disneyland, it is easy to enforce this rule. Just explain that they can ask Santa or their grandparents, but they will get the idea when you back up the rule and refuse to give in when they ask for something small, like a candy bar at the grocery store, or to watch a television program at home. If they ask why they can't ask more than once for something, explain they don't like being nagged, and you don't either.

Speaking of children's desires guiding them, a great mantra is "look with your eyes, not with your hands," or "look with your eyes, not with your mouth." The first version is for young children in stores or other people's houses who can't help to touch things that aren't theirs. Avoid potential problems like the child not giving the item back or the item getting broken by enforcing this rule the minute your child shows interest in something they aren't supposed to be touched with the second version of this mantra.

If time outs don't seem to work, but your child is out of control or doesn't seem to be listening to you, put yourself in time out. This works great because it means you are controlling your own behavior rather than trying to control your child. It can be startling to a child to hear that you will be not interacting with them for a certain period of time. It becomes a quick code phrase to say in the car when your child is whining, "Mommy's in time out." Pretty soon your child will stop their behavior to get your attention again.

So often children forget to put things away or don't keep their room clean. One rule you can implement is put it away or lose it. Just announce that this is a new room in your household and the minute your child leaves a toy out, it goes in a specific box with their name on it. Decide ahead of time how long to keep the toy in the box, perhaps a day for younger children and up to a week for older children. In this way they are specifically disciplined for the action that was unacceptable, rather than a blanket rule such as being grounded if they don't clean their room. And if they don't ask for the toy back after a certain amount of time, you can just donate it to someone who might appreciate it more.

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