by Dudley Samson

Created on: December 16, 2009

To deal with bad behavior, you must first understand that it stems from selfishness, not ignorance. People who behave badly know how to behave well but are deliberately ignoring the golden rule-treat others as you would like to be treated. They believe that doing what they want is more important than treating other people well.

When resources are abundant, people tend to treat other people well, since there is more than enough to go around. There is still abundance in this country but, with a weakened economy, many people think resources are scarce. In a situation of perceived scarcity, people behave badly as they pursue their own interests at the expense of others.

Because bad behavior is born of selfishness, you have to deal with it by appealing to a misbehaver's self-interest. You have to make it less appealing for the person to behave badly in the future. On a basic level, you must make sure that a person stops believing they will profit from misbehavior.  

Dealing with bad behavior requires you to be brave enough to draw a line in the sand. When someone misbehaves, let the person know that you have noticed their bad behavior and you do not accept it. If you are in public, announce your displeasure loudly. This will embarrass the misbehaver and give them the chance to undo their action. If they apologize and undo their misbehavior, accept their apology gracefully to emphasize how comparatively well behaved you are.

Do not engage more than that, or you may start to behave badly yourself. If the misbehaver challenges you, be silent and wait for witnesses to support you. If someone does, the misbehaver will lose control of the situation if they continue with their bad behavior. Even if the misbehaver does not stop misbehaving, they will enjoy their transgression less. Also, the next time they think of misbehaving, they will be unsure of what will happen. The payoff may no longer seem worth the possible risk.  

When you confront bad behavior, you set a good example for witnesses to follow. If no witnesses support you, some of them may leave feeling ashamed of their inaction and will confront misbehavior the next time. Other witnesses may be impressed by your strength and will now feel empowered to confront misbehavers themselves.  

By rejecting bad behavior, together we will create a better-behaved world.

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