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Humor: Parades

by Brianna Popsickle

Created on: December 16, 2009

The day began like every other. I grabbed my gym bag and jumped in the van. It wouldn’t start. We’d been having trouble with it all week, needing to boost it several times. My friend came over. My husband hooked up the cables and gave it one final boost. My plan was to drive it to the garage, which was closed on Sunday, but would leave it there so they could work on it first thing in the morning. My friend said she’d follow me and give me a ride home.

 I made my way to the other end of the city keeping one foot on the brake and one on the gas whenever I had to slow down. As I approached a busy intersection just two blocks from the garage, the light turned yellow. Reluctantly I slowed down and for an instant took my foot off the gas. The van died right at the intersection. 

Great. 

I pulled out my CAA card. I’d call for a tow. I realized I didn’t have my cell with me, but it didn’t matter as I noticed my CAA card had expired anyways. 

My friend appeared at the passenger window. I asked her to call my husband and get him to call for a tow using his CAA membership.  She called. No answer. I knew he was busy working on a home reno and probably had his music blaring. She was going to have to go get him. 

She had no sooner left when a police officer tapped on my window. She asked if I needed her to call for a tow. 

“No. My husband’s called for one and is on his way,” I lied. 

“It’s just the Santa Claus parade will be starting soon and traffic’s going to get crazy,” she replied, seeming a little concerned. 

Santa Claus parade?  I looked around and noticed people were starting to line the streets carrying lawn chairs and kids bundled in snowsuits.

  Great. Could I have picked a better place to break down? 

The police officer returned to wait in her cruiser directly behind me. She put her flashers on so people would notice the lane was not moving. 

They noticed all right, flashing red lights are hard to miss. I waited in my van, occasionally glancing at cars stopping next to me. People stared at me with that, ‘What did you do?’ expression on their face. 

I tried to ignore them and shrunk down in my seat. I focused my attention on some kids securing their place to watch the parade.  They were so excited. It reminded me of when I was their age, and took part in the Santa Claus parade. 

When I was

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