by Jennifer Bioche

Created on: December 16, 2009

People with mental illness wouldn't be throwaways if the system they are thrown into wasn't so flawed. Involuntary commitment in the United States is a regular occurrence, and very often the sane are mistaken for the insane.

In 2003 my husband and I were in the course of some terrible marital problems. We had just had our fourth child.  Sleep was scarce and tempers flared. One night it got bad and there was some yelling. The next thing I knew, six police officers were in my living room, circling me like a suspected felon.   I was standing in my kitchen, dressed in only a bathrobe. For the next 45 minutes they paced, asked me questions, and raised their eyebrows.

I tried to maintain my right to not answer and offered to speak to one of them in private. They declined.

The stand-off continued. It ended by me agreeing to go the local psychiatric hospital. I thought it was to visit with a counselor, sort things out.  Once out of the car in the hospital parking lot, I was surrounded by 8 people, who closed in on me in unison.

"Let’s just take this slow,” one of them said.

I blacked out, and woke up hours later, faced down on a bed in the dark.  I felt my underwear being pulled down, but couldn’t move. A needle was inserted into my rear and a burning sensation trickled into my bloodstream.

What followed after that was unthinkable. I woke up again, to find myself in a locked ward and on a perfectly legal three day hold, supposedly for the incident at home. I was told to attend the ward’s 12 step programs for addictions I didn’t have, or jewelry-making therapy. I wanted to see my children, but the doctor later scolded me for such a request.

“If you don’t take the medication you’ll never see your children again.”  I was incredulous. I started to cry. This was all documented as further evidence of my “illness”.

A few days later, I would appear before a judge, having arrived at the courthouse in a caged sheriff van, like a criminal.

There a psychiatrist testified against me, describing my disorder which included having “intense paranoia” and being “overly aggressive”.  The attorney assigned to represent me said little during the hearing. With one slam of a gavel I was declared incompetent. If I refused medication, I would be forcibly injected and it was ordered I stay in the hospital for one month.

During those weeks I lost all sense of who

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