by Jean Sidden

Created on: December 15, 2009

In every area of life one of the most important things we can learn is how to say "no". Unfortunately, many of us believe that we hold the keys to how to do things in the best way and have a difficult time letting go of taking too much on. When we do this we increase the chance that we won't get anything done efficiently or well. It's important to say no when we feel ourselves overwhelmed.

We need to remember that one person can't do everything. Often we might think things will be done badly if we don't take control and do more than is humanly possible. However, in that case the opposite is usually true. When you spread yourself too thin, you run the risk of poor work performance.

There are only so many hours in the day and some of them belong to you. Remember that you may have a family, friends and a life outside your work life. If you're taking on too much at work you may take your stress and anxiety home with you and this is not healthy. Learn to say no to more and more work and you might be able to get the job done at the office and keep your personal life separate and unencumbered.

When you start saying yes to everything that is brought your way you set a precedent that is very hard to break. People will begin to expect you to take on the burden all the time. They may, as a matter of course, come to you to take on their extra work for them. They will always have what could be misconstrued as a good excuse for why they can't do as much as you can, but you must learn how to reject them. It isn't easy telling someone no but it could save you wear and tear and resentment for not stepping up and doing what's best for you.

If you have a coworker who refuses to stand on their own and comes to you to do things for them, you are doing them a disservice. Becoming a crutch for someone doesn't make you a noble nice person, it just makes you a pushover. You need to learn to say no to such a person so they can grow and mature in their job and stop leaning on others to do their work for them.

After a while, the tendency to be the stopping place for all the surplus work in your office becomes something that grows so out of proportion you will have a difficult time adjusting it back to normal. The longer you wait, the worse it will get. If you are someone who so desperately needs to be needed that you are always absorbing everyone else's short fall, you may have an issue that requires some counseling. Look at your life outside work. Are you doing the same thing at home, at church or at your children's school functions? Are you saying yes to everything and still complaining about it? It may be time to find someone professional to talk to.

It's best to keep a flexible attitude about the work you take on. We all have times when the workload is heavy. But it's also very important to keep your perspective on how that can grow into a habit of taking on too much. Don't let others take advantage of you and learn to say no.

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