by Andi Jeanz

Created on: December 15, 2009

People Who Belittle Others Are Only Belittling Themselves

            We all know someone with very low self-esteem.  It may not be as apparent as the person that dines alone, or the one that slinks away in a corner at the office functions.  The average person with low self-esteem is the one that is loud, outgoing and comedic.  That person needs attention, is seeking self-gratification and they are trying to find their own value in comparison to that of someone else.  This is a general description of a person with low self-esteem. Not everyone who happens to be outgoing and extroverted have low self-esteem. 

            How do you know the difference? In all simplicity, low self-esteem is evident in the person that belittles.  That person uses belittling others to make him or herself feel good about themselves.  Negativity is apparent in all of their thoughts and actions.  The infestation of negativity exists and becomes who that person is.  This person may be a hurting person, one that was belittled as a child, one that is not the most attractive or one that is in or has been in a controlling relationship where they are not or were not allowed to make decisions or to experience personal growth.  The use of belittling is a device that has been conjured up to help this person replenish, restore, and inflate their ego.

             To belittle is not a thought, it is an automatic reaction. The belittler cannot see the positive in a person.  They look for the negative aspects and weaknesses of others.  Their primary goal is to accentuate the flaws of a person.  In doing so, they feel that this makes them look better.  In doing so they have temporary self-gratification and pleasure.

            It is interesting to note that a person who belittles is usually aware of their wit and will employ it as a tactic at the appropriate times to accomplish what they desire.  When provoked, the belittling feature is engaged and deployed to destroy and hurt the provoker.  The attack can cover a multitude of things from disparaging remarks about a person’s physical characteristics to racism, sexism, and socialism, just to name a few. 

            Not many people who practice belittling go without consequences to their behavior.  They miss out on the positive aspects of life.  Because they try their hardest to flaunt the negative characteristics of others, the opposite reaction occurs.  Instead of the focus being on the person that they are attacking, the focus turns to the belittler and the focus is a negative focus.  They appear to others as mean and unkind.  They now carry a “callous” and “uncaring” sign that they have chosen to wear and that all will read. 

           

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