by Esmerelda Q. Culpepper

Created on: February 17, 2007   Last Updated: April 18, 2007

I've been on both sides of the fence. So many times I've heard the phrase, "I've been battling my weight since I was a child." This isn't true for me. I was a skinny child, adolescent and adult. I didn't start packing on pounds until I became a housewife, then mother, then mother of two. I feel like I have a slightly more unique perspective on this matter. I used to be thin and I remember those days well. I remember how people looked me in the eye when they spoke to me or passed me on the street. I remember how men ogled me in public. I haven't forgotten how, when I would go to a club, I would have to fight the guys off with a stick, one after another. In fact, I met my husband when he approached me at a club and asked for a dance.

Years later, I went to a club with friends - skinny friends - and I sat by myself all night while my friends were on the floor dancing with one cute guy after another. Did all these random clubbers suddenly know that I was married and unavailable? No. What they knew is what they saw...fat. While my skinny friends couldn't keep their seats warm for ten seconds, my fabulous fanny was making quite an impression...in the cushion of the chair.

So now here I am, the biggest I've ever been in my life, and looking back on the last ten years. Why did I balloon like this and why can't I change back? The person I am now, inside, is the same person I was when I was skinny, if not wiser and slightly more jaded. Yet people don't see that person inside anymore. They just see the fat. I have literally been teased and called names in public. Please understand that I am not a giantess by any means. I wouldn't qualify for any circa 1900 sideshows. I am, however, about 100 pounds overweight. I am obese, just not quite morbidly so.

So why have I written this article? Have I addressed the epidemic of obesity in today's world? Perhaps not. I have instead touched on the epidemic of apathy and cruelty towards the obese. Ten years ago I was skinny and pretty. Now I'm fat. Ten years ago I never had to open my own door, wait in line behind skinny people, or step off of a sidewalk to let other people pass because they weren't budging to let me by. Ten years ago I never felt embarrassed, when I was in a hurry and eating in my car, to take a bite of my food in the view of other drivers. Ten years ago if I stood at a corner waiting to cross a street and a truck full of men passed by, they whistled at me and made cat calls. Ten years (and 100 pounds) later, while standing on a corner waiting to cross the street, a truck full of men pulled up to the light. The man in the passenger window waited for the light to turn green and, as the truck drove away, yelled at me, "Hey fata*!"

An epidemic of obesity? I believe it exists in staggering proportions. But it carries with it an epidemic of ignorance, apathy and shame, not for the obese, but for those who view the obese as fat, round walking targets.

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