by Lenna Gonya

Created on: December 14, 2009   Last Updated: November 24, 2010

Every Christmas, we plan our picture perfect holiday, losing ourselves in creating the happiness, and joy that we truly believe is the essence of the season. Sadly, when we don’t always achieve this perfection, and reality returns, it can be depressing.

The truth is that the season is not always perfect. December is another month, like all the others, with the same problems and challenges, only, with the additional stress of the holidays. There is still going to be illness, and hard times, and family discord.

Especially in a lagging economy, we need to remember the “reason for the season."

Since Americans first caught a glimpse of Queen Victoria and her beautiful Christmas tree in the 1840’s, the idea of the perfect Christmas has grown to bigger and better proportions each and every year. During the Victorian Era, Christmas decorations grew to elaborate and extreme proportions. Ordinary folks could only get a glimpse of these marvelous displays through the windows of the Victorian mansions. But, we soon began to believe that the way to celebrate the season had to contain all the glitz and glamour and gifts we could obtain.

Of course, even from the earliest Christmas newspaper and magazine publications about Christmas, way before radio or TV, the idea of what we should do and what we should have at Christmas was being drilled into our minds. You needed to decorate with special china and crystal, your children needed to have the latest and best presents that money could buy.

Things haven’t changed much, except now, we are overwhelmed with these ads on TV and radio as well. We are also overwhelmed with Christmas shows that present perfect families, living perfect lives, in beautifully decorated homes. At no other time of the year are our shortcomings and lack of resources so painfully apparent to us, and so discouraging.

We need to understand that not all holidays are perfect, and, not all families become whole and happy just because of the holidays. It sometimes helps to bring us together, but it might not, and to set unrealistic goals can be a major let down. Psychologists tell us that at no other time of the year do so many people experience depression, anxiety, and even suicidal tendencies than at Christmas. Often, this happens because we feel we cannot compete with others and give our families the perfect Christmas. Sometimes, it’s because we are alone.

Everyone should look forward to Christmas and learn to enjoy the season. This may very well mean changing our expectations and stressing ourselves less over finding perfection.

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