by Megan Stoddard

Created on: December 13, 2009

"Merry Christmas" is an appropriate December greeting for people who fall into two categories: those who celebrate Christmas, and those who do not celebrate Christmas but do not mind being wished a Merry Christmas. If you are greeting someone who, to your knowledge, celebrates other holidays in December, "Happy Holidays" is appropriate. If you do not know which holidays the person you are greeting celebrates, "Happy Holidays" is likewise appropriate.

For people who grew up on the magic of Christmas, and for very religious Christians (very religious Christians are likely to have grown up on the magic of Christmas, but not everyone who grew up with Christmas is a religious Christian), substituting, "Happy Holidays" may feel like a sham. And for people whose religions exclude them from Christmas, "Merry Christmas" may feel like a slap. It presents a cold reminder of something they can only view as an outsider.

Of course, many people do not sit at those extreme ends of the scale. There are many who do not celebrate Christmas themselves but do not mind helping those who do to celebrate their holiday, and certainly do not mind Christmas greetings. And there are many Christmas celebrants, including some religious Christians, who recognize that "Merry Christmas" is not necessarily as meaningful for others as for themselves, and have no problem substituting, "Happy Holidays" when appropriate.

Ideally, Christmas would be a celebration that binds everyone together. And it often does. People get together for caroling parties and holiday dinners and volunteer to help the poor and the sick when they might not otherwise have done so.

To religious Christians, Christmas is an especially meaningful holiday. For the lightly religious, Christmas may be their main infusion of religion. There are many people who can be aptly described as Christmas Christians. Many who do not know any other Christian hymns do know Christmas carols. Many who know little of the Bible do know the Nativity story.

But if anyone in a community is not Christian, which is true in most of North America and increasingly true in other historically Christian parts of the world, Christmas becomes something that divides and excludes. It becomes a club exclusive to Christians, or at least exclusive to people of Christian background. Even if no one intends to exclude their Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, or Buddhist friends and neighbors, exclusion happens by default. And if the majority of the people are Christian, the exclusion is all the more pronounced.

"Happy Holidays" as a seasonal greeting is an effort to correct this exclusion. It is far from perfect. People whose religions do not include December holidays at all... which includes most who are not Christian, Jewish, or Neo-Pagan... may still feel put upon. And people who feel that Christmas is deeply meaningful may feel wrong, even sacrilegious, about not saying, "Merry Christmas."

However, unless and until we can come up with a better solution, "Happy Holidays" is what we have. That does not mean it has to replace "Merry Christmas" in every situation. People may still say, "Merry Christmas," to people they know to celebrate the holiday. And even many who do not celebrate Christmas do not mind being on the receiving end of that wish if it is offered sincerely. But in the interests of inclusiveness, in a diverse society, "Happy Holidays" has its place.

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