by Kathryn LaVon Davis

Created on: December 13, 2009   Last Updated: December 17, 2009

Driving home with rain pouring down, she was scared.  She drove slowly over the overpass but could barely see it and her car skidded a few times.  She was scared and she was mad at herself.

"Don't sleep with any man who allows you to leave his bed at night in weather like this."

The drive home from her first time casual sex arrangement, session two.  She arrived and his hands were on her.  Her jeans were loose, so his hands slid to just the edges of the roundness of her bottom.  His fingers felt at her. His tongue was hard and intent.  It had a good shape and a good feel.  He was a good kisser.

They laughed and told stories about their youth; he being voted the most handsome in a class of 56 and she feeling she was ugly, as she'd been abused by her father and labeled the "ugly duckling" by her mother.  "You're not ugly," he told her.  And she knew at this point that she wasn't.  They talked about the days before he stopped drinking, the drunk sex days. They both admitted enjoying that.  She laughed and said "oh yeah, I woke up one morning with a guy I ended up dating, " 'we had sex, I asked and he said 'yeah' and I asked 'was it good?' and he said 'yeah.'  It never was good after that first time that I don't remember."

They spoke of deeply personal things like lovers do. They followed with insensitive discussion to remain aloof.  This was a casual sex relationship..  There was to be no consideration for feelings; they weren't supposed to have them.  She heard the sound "Is that RAIN?  As long as it is raining, I'm here with you."

He kissed her again, deeply.  He kissed her hip bone and her stomach and moved down.

They'd met three years before, during the summer while her children were with their dad for a month.  He was a newly recovered, baby-stepping alcoholic.  They went on four dates and she didn't have a connection., so she decided to sleep with him.  She knew that would be the make or break it deal.  And still, that done, she felt nothing, so she dumped him.  In her mind, he didn't know where he was yet.

Years later, she wondered about him, and the changes in him.  She acknowledged the changes in herself.  She emailed him and they had lunch the next day.  She left interested.  He had the confidence he'd lacked and she was attracted.  Voila!

He wrote her three days later and said that he'd decided that he could

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