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Satire: Football

by Daniel Schwartz

Created on: December 13, 2009   Last Updated: December 30, 2011

The Littlest Boy

            Johnny was the littlest boy but he had the biggest heart of anyone on the football team.  Johnny could not run very fast and he could not jump very high, nor could he read a defense very well.  What Johnny did do well was try.

            Every day he would be on the practice field an hour before anyone else and he would leave after everyone else did.  “That Johnny sure is dedicated”, Coach Kyle would say as he watched him try to catch the ball. “It’s too bad he doesn’t have good hands”, his assistant, Marty, replied. Coach Kyle thought about what Marty had said, and then suddenly his face lit up.

            “Marty call Johnny in. I want to try something.”   When Johnny came in Coach Kyle put his hand on Johnny’s shoulder and said, “Johnny how would you like to be the second string quarterback?” 

            “Kyle, are you out of your mind, second string quarterback? Marty asked.  “.Didn’t you just say the boy had bad hands.”

            “I got good hands”, Johnny replied. ‘

            “Yea, good for picking daisies maybe”  Marty said sticking his tongue at Johnny. Johnny stuck his tongue back. “That’s enough out of both of you!” Coach Kyle admonished. “Johnny let’s see how you throw the ball.”  Coach Kyle handed Johnny the ball.

            Johnny grabbed the football by the laces, cocked his arm back, and then threw it as hard as he could.  The ball spiraled through the air as both Marty and Coach Kyle watched in amazement. Marty started to jump up and down with excitement.

            “Good Lord Kyle, did you see that! The boy’s a natural; He threw that thing twenty or twenty five yards.”

            “That’s what I was trying to tell you. Just because the boy can’t catch doesn’t  mean he can’t

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