by Roberto Chiodetti

Created on: December 12, 2009

Why the foundation of marriage should be love and not hope

There are clearly many challenges that can cause two people to grow apart over the years of living together and that in itself should be a warning for those that think of building a life with someone by basing their rapport on a business transaction. It's hard enough when you really know and care for the other person but it'll become a lot worse when the only bond is the fact that your parents feels your partner is the right one. Those who had no choice but accept their parents will often tells you that it's not so bad but that's far from the truth. Some of those arranged marriages will work in the end but only because at least one of the party involved will have to be incredibly selfless and just submit to his/her fate. Most of the time is the woman that will have to submit, it comes as no surprise that in all the cultures that recognise the supposed value of arranged marriages the position of women in those cultures is somewhat below that of a cow. The woman is seen as a means to the continuation of the family name and as a willing slave in and out of bed. Young girls are often seen by the family as a business opportunity to be exploited as best as possible. It's no surprise that arranged marriages are never arranged among different cast members in India and surrounded countries for example. One of the parties would invariably lose out so that's a no-no. In arranged marriages the parties involved have very limited expectations, for the woman the only expectation is that her husband won't beat her up, that his not some kind of sexual freak and that he won't abandon her once the transaction is over while for the husband to be the only expectation is that she won't be too deformed to be shown in public. With such high expectations is any wonder that arranged marriages seems more successful, at least on the surface?

I worked for years with a dear friend of mine from India that was forced into an arranged marriage with a woman that he never saw before the last year before marriage. In that year he saw her only 4 times and after about 4 afternoon of conversation they had to marry. According to him they are very happy and i have no reason to believe that he doesn't truly believe that. He's a very nice guy,not violent, very compromising and friendly, an all around nice catch. The real catch thought is that no one told the wife that she actually could have the choice of not like him. On his own words he told

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>