Is it responsible for a parent to let a 12-year-old child ride the NYC subway alone?

by Jennifer Bioche

Created on: December 11, 2009   Last Updated: December 12, 2009

As a mother of four, ages 15 to 5, I've debated "The Safety Dance" with many a mom on this issue, So much that it helped me land a gig on a California radio show. My neighbor, a PhD in psychology was hosting “Psych Talk” on local university’s public access channel and she then brought me into the station for a guest spot on parenting trends in the 90’s.  A few months later, I was hosting “The Parent Rap” on the same station.

In those months behind the microphone I interviewed several authors, MDs and other noted experts in the field of parenting and family life. My children at the time were 5 and 3, and my basic observation of American motherhood was that we were running 24/7 to obtain the illusion of the perfect life for our children. This included our obsession with safety. We read food labels with a line item veto ready for any chemical deemed potentially hazardous for our children’s brain developments. We warned our children of “Stranger Danger”, assuming anyone and everyone was a potential abductor. And then came the laws.

California is the bastion of safety laws for family life. There are helmet laws for bicylists and morotists, laws against leaving your child alone in a car, and recently legislation was introduced to make spanking also illegal. It’s a great state for lawyers, but citizens, beware.

Once while sitting in a parked car at a Southern California airport, I received a ticket for not having my toddler in a car seat. Grandma’s plane was delayed, the kids were fussing, and I had pulled over to clear my head.  Since that wasn’t possible with my three year old screaming, I made the decision to let him stretch his legs. The fine? $350.

California’s culture of safety trickled into other aspects of our family life. I was scolded by neighbors for letting my children play in our private cul-de-sac. I guess they feared some terrible boogie man jumping out from behind their parked car. Then I approached a parent about a school carpool to school. She didn’t like the looks of my car - which was a modest, but well made Toyota Corolla. My friend recounted when the police came to her apartment after it was reported her leaving her kids alone to go to the next door laundry room. 

Back in the studio “The Parent Rap” played bumper music from the 80’s hit “The Safety Dance”. We interviewed a representative from the National

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>