by Michelle Tuesday

Created on: December 11, 2009   Last Updated: March 16, 2010

When it comes to matters of office politics, respect will get you everywhere. Demonstrating respect for others in the workplace is the best way to earn respect in return. When colleagues and members of management respect you, they give you grace periods on your deadlines. They help you out with your workload when you are overwhelmed. They trust you with challenging and rewarding projects. And if you are looking for friends at work, mutual respect is the foundation for lasting personal relationships that transcend and outlast superficial business relationships.

Friends in the Workplace

Job satisfaction depends on a number of factors, one of which is friendships in the workplace. Studies have shown that people who have friends at work are more likely to enjoy their jobs. And while it's true that most people go to work every day for a paycheck, it is much nicer to earn that paycheck when we enjoy the work at our jobs. After all, we spend literally half of our waking hours at work.

Friends in the workplace give us a listening ear when colleagues or bosses anger us, when we mess things up or miss deadlines, or even when we are carrying a burden from home. We are not machines, able to consistent perform at the same level day in and day out. We are human, and we have our ups and downs thanks to external inputs and our emotional responses. We need friends to help us get through the lows and get back up to our normal standards of performance.

The Power of Listening

True respect is earned, not granted. Even when you are the boss with authority and power over your employees, only earned respect is true respect. Respect for your position is not the same thing as respect for you. And if you want to build genuine friendships at work, only earned respect will get you there.

The most reliable way to earn the respect of others in the workplace is to listen. When we listen to others, we send the nonverbal message that we care about their ideas and concerns. Nonverbal messages are far more powerful than words. People much more readily believe that you care about them when you demonstrate it than when you say so. And when people believe you care, they respect you.

Since friendships are built on mutual respect, it stands to reason that listening to others will help you build those lasting relationships. It makes sense, because when you are ready to be heard, they will be by your side, listening to you in return. So if you want to build friendships at work, start by listening. Let respect grow. Watch as others step in to help you in your time of need, trust you with rewarding tasks, and listen to you in return. Over time, your workplace will become a place you enjoy, rather than just a sterile, necessary source of a paycheck.

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