by T.C Leonard

Created on: December 10, 2009   Last Updated: December 12, 2009

"Unidentified Object Over Area 51"


Late at night one Christmas Eve
An object out in space
Came up as a radar blip
At Nellis Air Force Base
It darted 'cross the desert-
And somebody jumped the gun,
As it flew into that area-
Yeah, the one called Fifty-One

A fighter flew in from the east,
From the west a UFO
And warnings were all greeted
With a hearty "Ho, Ho, Ho!"
No one believed in Santa Claus,

And a missile soon took flight...
Santa turned hard to his port
And Rudolph dimmed his light

The generals at ground control
Were sure it was Osama
It looked like world war-for sure-
So they dialed up Obama
The President and all his men
Sought guidance from Dick Cheney,
Then put in a call to Hooterville
And asked for Mr. Haney

Soon Larry, Moe, and Curly
Had put their two cents in,
And members of the think tank
All screamed above the din...
"The enemy's upon us,"
Said the Prez, before a pause
But Cindy Lou, in Whoville,
Said, "It could be Santa Claus"

But somewhere in Nevada,
Way up in restricted skies
Eight reindeer and a jolly man
Were given quite the rise
A rocket left the launching pad
And headed on its way,
Seeking out its target
Until Donner saved the day

The reindeer dinked, the missile dunked,
And Santa prayed aloud,
And in a last ditch effort
Hid his sleigh inside a cloud
Meanwhile, back in Washington,
Amidst the angry mob,
Somewhere in the screaming
I heard a child sob...

She knew that it was Santa,
All alone in gloom of night,
High above the desert
In a wicked fire fight
She raised her hand and shouted
Above the panicked crew-
It was either ask ol' Dubyah...
Or advice from Cindy Lou

She convinced Mr. Obama
That the straits were not so dire,
So he called the folks at Nellis
And demanded a cease fire
With guns unlocked, unloaded,
And an end to the abuse
Santa yelled out, "Merry Christmas!"
And both sides declared a truce

He then completed all his rounds
And polished off his goal,
Avoiding war between the west
And folks at the North Pole...
I wish you a Merry Christmas,
One devoid of hate and terror
Caused by conflicts in belief
And things like human error

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