Teenagers respect and appreciate when you treat them as human beings. Remember that they are not their challenges or their deficiencies; rather, they are people deserving of respect and recognition. If you are a parent, teacher, or community worker who is responsible for teenagers, try to remember that they are young adults who are just learning how to live in the world. They have judgments, beliefs, and values and they need modeling and guidance to help them grapple with the decisions they need to make; they do not need ultimatums and commands.

Since teenagers often forget that they are still minors in need of our care, it is sometimes necessary to remind them of your authority. Do not, however, do this by using "because I said so" commands or by delivering harsh punishments. Always explain your reasoning. Remember, you are not just disciplining, you are also always modeling behavior. If you want them to make reasoned decisions, they need to see you doing it.

As much as you need to sometimes assert your authority, it is important to also let teenagers assert their own. Listen to them. They have a lot of worthwhile things to say, and they may just know something you don't.

Learn more about this author, Melissa Rachiele.
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