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Novel excerpts: Hamlet's ghost

by Tony Verna

When we left our story, there was inkling that Jancy could be deployed by being employed at The Blue Man’s place of business,

* * * *

The Professor and Chester hailed a horse cab and it took them up Broadway to a large, garish five-story building, P.T. Barnum's American Museum. The name was stamped over a gigantic mural that depicted the attractions inside.

Moving through the front doors, the Professor explained that he had arranged for his old friend, P.T. Barnum, to provide Jancy with a day's work at his museum so that she could keep track of the Blue Man.

 Several guides in the standard Barnum-issued maroon uniforms guided the new visitors to their first stop, The Carnival of Wonders. Upon seeing P.T. Barnum talking to a squad of gypsies by a display of oversized chicken eggs, the Professor took the opportunity to slip away.

 Chester continued on to the aquatic attraction, The Mermaids Cove, where the cutout featured the Blue Man with a half-eaten raw squid dangling from his mouth. A waterfall cascaded down into a black concrete pond onto several beautiful sea creatures swimming about, boasting the head and body of luscious women, but instead of legs, a fishtail.

 One of the lovely girls splashing about in a mermaid outfit was Jancy. When she surfaced, Chester was relieved that her long hair was covering her breasts. As Jancy splashed up onto a stone facade, Chester remarked that he hadn't known she was amphibious. Flipping her silvery tail, Jancy shushed him as she caught sight of the Professor carrying a crate with a live chicken, fresh from the poultry display.

 Walking with him was the troupe of gypsies, with a tall, portly man with a big nose leading the way. "That's P.T. Barnum, himself. Help me unfasten my tail so I can tell the Professor where the Blue Man is."

 Chester slipped his hand under Jancy's scales. "The Professor shouldn't have you here taking chances. You should be somewhere baking a mince pie."

 Jancy struggled with the cross laces in back of her tail. "I know, but Tonio is my passion. Sometimes I think my heart is my dumbest muscle. How about you?"

 Chester undid her last lace and her tail dropped to the floor. "I think mine is a bit lower."

 As Jancy grabbed a robe from behind one of the rocks, the Professor arrived with his live chicken in a crate. "I'll explain this later. Right now, my dear, you must lead me to the Blue Man."

As they started up a flight of stairs, a Ubangi maiden with half-a-dozen inches of outstretched lips passed them, causing Chester to whisper to Jancy. "I gave you your first kiss."

"I was very young and very curious."

 Jancy led the way as they edged their way by a lady with three-quarters of a ton of fat, on their way to yet another flight of stairs. Chester asked if Jancy had lost all curiosity about him.

 "It's not that. It's just that when we were young, we were starved for love."

 Chester turned to the Professor. "I remember when her biggest problem was worrying if her breasts would grow. Now look at how quickly she’s progressed. In just one day, she knows her way around a freak house."

 As they reached the fifth floor, all three were out of breath as Jancy led them to a room at the end of the corridor.

 "Everyone who works here must live up here."

The room was marked The Blue Room, and when the Professor opened the door, he saw the huge form of the Blue Man lying on the floor. He bent down to look more closely. "It seems that the Bluebird of Happiness has dumped on this poor creature."

 "As I suspected, his failure to eliminate Victor Sculler apparently caused Sir Richard to have his performance terminated."

 The Professor quickly pawed his way through the dead man's costume trunk. It appeared to contain his whole wardrobe, a colorful array of genital socks. But when the Professor removed a side panel, he found several bottles in a secret compartment. He held one of the amber bottles up to the light. "Just as I suspected, silver nitrate. The poor devil was applying it to his skin to turn it blue. Unfortunately, it appears to have proved fatal."

 The Professor's eyes flashed across the room, leading him to say,

"One could say that he literally dyed himself to death. One could say that, unless he saw this."

 The Professor moved to the table in the middle of the room and, with great caution, used a fork to scoop up some food from a plate. He held the long, stringy mass up high. "The culprits who delivered the phosphorescent jellyfish from the warm Cuban waters to swim with the Blue Man also supplied him with this rare dinner treat-a box jelly from the colder waters of Northern Australia. Its venom can stop a human heart in three minutes."

 Sounds from outside drew them back out into the corridor. Following the Professor down the back stairs, they avoided a squad of policemen just arriving.

 On the landing, they encountered P.T. Barnum, who was ushering his band of gypsies into the make-up and wardrobe room. Having spoken earlier to Barnum, the Professor was aware that the showman was supplying the troupe of gypsies to Sir Richard for the pre-opening party on his Lucky Seven steamer, and he was able to convince P.T., with the aid of a few dollars, to have Chester dress up and be included as part of the kitchen crew assembled for the party.

 The Professor handed Chester the chicken crate and, with it, a slip of paper carrying instructions on what to do with the chicken.

 Chester tied a kerchief to his head, rolled up his trousers and slipped on his gypsy sandals while Jancy awaited the permission to join the six dancing girls. Professor parted with more dollars and suggested, "Why don't we make it an even seven!"

 - - - - -

As the Professor walked down the illuminated street of Broadway, he found that he had seven shadows, six of which were much larger than his. Quickly, he ducked into an alley and entered the back of the theatre. He hid behind a velvet drop, looking at the actors on stage rehearsing Shakespeare's immortal words on a picture frame stage.

 The six large thugs who had been following the Professor entered the theatre from the front and came down the main aisle. Two seated themselves in the empty orchestra section. Two wandered along the boxes horseshoed around the theatre. The last two headed backstage.

 The play had reached the point at which the ghost of Hamlet's father was about to make his first appearance. One character on stage asked, "Has this thing appeared again tonight?"

 Another character, Bernardo, answered Marcellus's question. So far he had not seen anything. But the Professor did see something. Next to him on stage was a large sheet of pane glass, inclined at an angle so that the stage lighting would conceal it from the audience.

Then, as Bernardo asked the third character on stage, Horatio, to take a seat so he could tell him about the ghost, the Professor slipped into Sir Richard's office, and with a Seven right, Seven left, Seven right, he managed to open the safe and remove not only the papers he sought but also a bag of gold nuggets marked Lucky Seven.

 On a level below the stage, Tonio waited, dressed in full body armor, about to portray the dead king. He stood in the midst of a manufactured mist rising up from a burning coal pan.

 Being below, Tonio could not be seen on stage-not seen until he turned up the gaslights beside him so that his ghostly image would be reflected onto the clear pane glass on the stage above.

When Marcellus said, "Look where it comes again," Tonio brightened the gaslight, and his transparent image as the ghost appeared on stage. And while his image was allowed to prance above, the clunking sound of his armor would stay buried below.

 When Bernardo asked Horatio to speak to the ghost, the Professor decided to take the side steps to the pit below and have a word.

 Upstairs, two of the thugs were dumfounded when they discovered that Sir Richard's safe had been left opened and emptied of its valuables.

 On stage, Bernardo was not having much luck either in getting the ghost to respond. Then Tonio moved slowly off stage and Bernardo was quick to notice. "See, it stalks away!"

 Down below, Tonio had moved out of the light, causing his ethereal image to disappear on stage. While the actors above continued with Shakespeare's lines, Tonio was surprised to see the Professor's image through the smoke of the burning coals. "You are here."

 The Professor spoke to him in Italian. "Good observation. But I was followed. We must leave now."

 Tonio pointed to the stage above and put a finger to his lips for silence.

Up on stage, Horatio was adding a line to Shakespeare's classic by repeating, "Behold, lo, where it comes again!" Tonio moved back into the light.

Unfortunately, the Professor's coat had caught on the steel mesh of Tonio's sleeve, causing a bedraggled Professor to be pulled into the light behind the ghost of Hamlet's father.

 On stage, Horatio stared at the glass. There in Kronberg Castle, in Ellsinore, stood two figures, one the silent ghost and the other Professor Jordan who had brought the tweeds of his 19th Century coat to 17th Century Denmark.

As a rumble came from the guards, the Professor reached down and turned off the gaslights that were causing the reflections. Realizing he did have to make his exit, Tonio picked up a waxed glob of black powder the size of a bowler's ball and hung it around his neck.

 The sound of the guards came closer. As Tonio led the way out, the Professor moved to kick over the fire pan and set fire to the theatre, but Tonio stopped him. "No burn theatre. Theatre like church."

 The Professor disagreed. "Not quite." With almost religious fervor, he kicked over the pan and led their escape from the explosion on the stage.

 Once the men were clear of the theater, they wiped the soot from their faces, which had been blackened by the blast. In doing so, the Professor was reminded of how Shakespeare had intentionally darkened the face of the gypsies in his plays, but it also gave him a corresponding thought on how Jancy could help light up things in their next act.

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