by Nachisha Lightsey

Created on: December 08, 2009   Last Updated: December 14, 2009

I don’t know where to begin… It been so long old friend, seeing you provides one of those awkward silences . The silence reminds us that we don’t know each other anymore.  Are we really supposed to start all over again? Start learning each other idiosyncrasies and stuff. I don’t know if I can go there again with you. So much has changed. I got kids now… A husband and a household to manage, homework to check, laundry to do. I’m not sure if I can stay up with you all night anymore. I know that’s what we used to do. I don’t smoke weed anymore, so if you’re waiting for me to light up, I don’t know what to tell you. Are you still in to that stuff? What have you been up to the last 7,8 years. Do you have another love? Why are you resurfacing? Are you here just to say hi and leave again, or are you here for the long haul now?

 Ok, I’m sorry…I know it was me that left you wanting more not the other way around. You spoke to me trough whispers and dialogue of comer and goers for years and I just ignored you. I’m sorry for that. I shouldn’t have shunned you aside when my husband came into play. I didn’t mean too. He needed me to step up, so we could begin building a life together, and well, you were costing me a lot of time and money, but not returning the favor. What was I suppose to do. I know that God gave you to me as a gift, and if I can’t be trusted with a little, than How is suppose to trust me with a lot, but damn. I put a lot of years into you. Most of my life dreaming about when you and I could go to Europe, glasses of red in Tuscany overlooking the hills, seeing Michelangelo at the chapel. I believed in you; tell me did you ever believe in me? You know what…It doesn’t matter! Were here now. So what up? What are we gonna do?

You really wanna fall in love again. Wow… I don’t know? So much in me has changed; I’m not the same person you knew before. Maybe we could make it work, but where do we start? The old places, I mean the places we met are so long gone, I don’t even know if I can be that free again. I was a child then spending time with you just cause. There were no dreams riches, just expression, just you and me in the middle of the night. That innocence is lost, too many bills to pay, mouths to feed, I can’t even read like I want, how and hell are we suppose to fall in love again. What if my husband gets

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