by Michelle Brutvan

Created on: December 08, 2009   Last Updated: December 09, 2009

In my lifetime, I have seen both the good and bad that can come from parenting skills or lack thereof. I personally believe I was provided all the necessary learning tools to prepare me for and assist me in my development. On the flip side, I've been witness to the side effects of the lack of fortitude of a mother who is the custodial parent of a child shared between two homes. It needs to be said that the child spends the majority of the time with his mother. What the child suffers from now is believed to be the result of failure to provide consistency and direction just for the basics; speech, motor skills, and socialization.

When it comes to raising a productive and successful child, one starts with the fundamentals of speech, motor, and socialization skills. Communication skills such as conveying wants and needs are essential. As a baby progresses into toddler age, the importance of teaching them to associate words with these wants and needs serves as a useful tool. Simply allowing a child to grunt or mumble makes these associations more difficult down the line. A child who is not challenged when they do mumble will continue to do so until corrected. They do not realize what they are doing isn't effective communication. It is up to the able-bodied parent to recognize these deficiencies and encourage proper language skills to avoid complications later on. I've seen the effects of this negligence of one parent on her child, where she failed to enforce clear speaking from the then 2-year old. Also, she failed to engage her child in active, daily play, nor was he surrounded by other children. He wasn't entertained or encouraged to explore new environments that would help in his mobility. With this negligence, or failure to thrive, the child now, almost 3-years old, suffers with developmental delays. He still is unable to verbalize what he wants and has demonstrated difficulty with tasks as simple as climbing stairs.

With the new declaration of developmental delays of this 3-year old, he has now been enrolled in programs to enable proper development for what is expected of a child his age. The programs for which this child has been receiving have consisted of speech and occupational therapy; his ability to come up to speed has been questioned by the ones providing his therapy. Documentation by these "professionals" has submitted to the idea he does in fact have developmental delays. The problem lies with their foundation for why these delays are there in the

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