by Martina Billings-McAtee, RN

Created on: December 06, 2009

When a teenager gets involved in their first true romantic relationship, the emotions can be intense. Often, a relationship is seen as a status symbol and once it is established a teen can feel a responsibility to keep it going. This relationship becomes vital to the teens self worth. This inability to see the relationship clearly becomes a breeding ground for violence and a cycle of abuse.

What is Domestic Violence?

Many people believe domestic violence to be what we see in the movies; images of women with swollen lips and black eyes lying in a hospital bed tearfully recounting why their husbands beat them. While black eyes and broken bones are a form of domestic violence there are other, more insidious, forms of abuse.

According to the National Coalition against Domestic Violence, abuse can come in the form of coercion, insults, threats, isolation, emotional abuse and manipulation. Teenagers have many of the same ideas about abuse as adults and can often feel that if they didn't get a black eye or a bruise it wasn't truly abuse. This is how the abuser begins to manipulate a situation.

Are Teens Really at Risk?

The statistics regarding teen violence usually comes as a shock to parents. The American Psychological Association states that 10 to 25% of teenage girls between the ages of 15-24 will be the victims of rape or attempted rape and of those over half of them will be perpetrated by the girl's partner.

Abuse doesn't just only involve girls. Boys also report being abused by their girlfriends. It is more often verbal and emotional abuse but when physical abuse happens it is often very bad. The statistics on boys are limited because very few boys are willing to report being the victim of abuse.

What Are the Early Warning Signs?

Below are some of the signs to look for if you have a teen in a relationship:

Your teens partner's teasing increasingly leads to insults They pouting when your child spends time with friends or family. Your teen says their partner threatened to leave them in an unsafe place They attempt to control every aspect of your teens life or your child is beginning to defer to them or consult them in every decision Your child's partner exhibits sudden outbursts or fits of temper when things don't go their way He refers to your daughter as his "woman" or property and expects her to be available to him at all times while he is free to do as he pleases.

My Child Would Tell Me if They Were Being Abused

Like you, often times your child doesn't realize

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