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Satire: Teachers

by George Gundle

Created on: December 06, 2009


Class 1F, F for Fuller their young and appropriately enthusiastic teacher, had been preparing hard for the upcoming exams or Career Starters as they were called. These were the end product of a year's tough work on module FOUR which consisted of essential life skills. Of course there had been the minimum of four sets of mock examinations throughout the year to thoroughly assess ability levels as the pupils of class 1F knew very well. However during the next week class 1F's real Career starter exams would be sat.

There was a mixed atmosphere of tension but also excitement as Miss Fuller called the group together in the discussion corner of the precisely organized classroom. The children, aged between 15 and 16, were eager to pass their module FOUR with seven A*s but also all too aware of the seriousness of the problems that not having sufficient grades in module FOUR could bring in the future.

All routinely chanted back the school motto of I work therefore I am to Miss Fuller before she began.

Now children, an exciting time for all of us is just around the corner, straight after your next study leave. (The word weekend had been abolished from the schooling system as it discouraged vital independent work that was to be done every weekend.) In the next week you will have the privilege of showing the exam board just how hard we have been working on our module FOUR essential life skills.

The name had an official and electrifying ring to it and caused a breath of eagerness to rustle around the room.

I know you have all been revising hard for the last six weeks (six weeks being the advised time period for revision) and I'm sure you are all as well prepared as possible for your module FOUR Career starters. However, I would like to run through a small amount of exam technique and give some final revision tips for you to think about over the study leave in your fifteen minute slots between hourly revision periods. Class 1b were well aware that in the sixth form students studying for their module NINE were only permitted a five minute break between revision periods so thought nothing of this comment.

Firstly, a quick run through of our schedule. Monday: 8:00 9:15 Friend making written paper remember that the examiner will be looking for cheery adjectives and a comforting use of consonants. In your essay on either what to say when approaching a timid character or how to best enter a close circle of friends try to use as many of our pre-prepared phrases as possible,

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