by Carol Wise

Created on: December 05, 2009

As an R.N. perhaps I should have a medically based opinion on such a subject but I don't. My opinion is based on personal experience. My grandmother married a second time to a man originally from Denmark. While they were married many years, his grasp of the English language was never great. He communicated well with my grandmother but that was about it. Most of us heard what he thought via my grandmother, she would interpret for him. He was a proud man and worked hard all his life. Though he was not always understood or accepted by his stepchildren.

One of my aunt's was an R.N. and when they, my grandparents were older, she was involved with their medical appointments and such. I was busy with my young family and not physically close so I am well aware I didn't know all the details or the reasoning behind some of the decisions that were made but I was very angry when I discovered what some of the decisions were. My grandmother before passing suffered from atherosclerosis, which affected her cognitive abilities. Towards the end she knew she knew my father, her son but she could not recall his name or their relationship. So perhaps in her case any disclosure of impending death would make little sense. She would not necessarily be able to grasp or understand what she was being told.

On the other hand my grandfather had no such mental deficits. His doctor discovered he had prostrate cancer and with my Aunt decided not to inform my grandfather or to treat him. To me this is outrageous. I believe he had every right to know, and to make his own decision as to whether he wanted to be treated or not. My grandfather was an adult, with his mind intact and I suspect most if not all of us would fight for our right to know about our own medical conditions, and the possible treatments. To keep such information from us is wrong on so many levels.

In my grandfather's case the results were tragic in my opinion. He was robbed of his rights to make decisions that are very personal. Not only that but he became aware of the fact something was very wrong, when he hemorrhaged or bled from his penis. Not being a well educated man, he'd worked farms and taken care of a golf course, he was no doubt scared, yet who could he question or get answers from? He was alone when he hemorrhaged. Really alone because my grandmother had passed three months before.

As a man who now suddenly knew that something was very wrong with him and having lost his wife and helpmate, this proud man cleaned

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