by A.T. Meininger

Created on: December 05, 2009

No. There is no 'mother' or 'father' past the point of moving out. The job of parent is over once the child has moved out of the house. To assume otherwise keeps adults from being adults. At no other time in history has childhood been so prolonged. In times past an 8th grade education was the standard before going to work-and in doubling that time, adults have stunted other adults from growing properly.

The goal of a parent is to raise a child to the point where they understand their emotions and can reason completely independent from the parent. Parenting should be pulling back an arrow on a bow and releasing. The adults have no obligation to talk with or see their parents after they have left the nest.

It would inhibit siblings their progression of character to allow for their parents to settle disputes. A goal of parenting is to teach logic and reasoning-not compromise and conformity. Adults that are versed in negotiations and logic are good at solving disputes that arise between them. Adults that are taught to submit to their parents will are adults who will feel helpless and seek third parties (lawyers and police) for problems that competent people can solve for themselves. A lack of self-esteem comes into question when third parties needed (unless as a last resort). As Ayn Rand pointed out, two people in disagreement can start at two different opinions and arrive at a conclusion when both of them are willing to understand reality, context, responsibility, and effort. Rational people need not get into conflict.

The only way that a mother should become involved is if her interests are involved. This is to say that the conflict goes beyond the realm of just her adult offspring. In this case, however, the mother should stop being the arbiter. If her interests come into question, she inevitably loses the ability to become impartial. As much as nobody would like to admit it, mothers do have favorites. Inevitably, favoritism will lead to erring on one side of a conflict over another because she likes one of her children more. This is not always the case, but it should be considered before adding a maternal arbiter.

It may sound like a good idea to get mother into trying to solve a problem. There were times that it worked as a kid. But let's grow up. If mother doesn't buy you toys or read you bedtime stories, she shouldn't be solving your problems.

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