by Tenebris

Created on: December 05, 2009

It is easy to make people think we are smart. There must be thousands of tricks out there, known to politicians and con men since time immemorial, to puff us up bigger than we are. If we can be honest with ourselves, the wish to appear smart is not simply to fit in or even just to sparkle, but also to intimidate other people from questioning us, 'eating' them lest we be 'eaten' ourselves. Even the humble pufferfish knows this one.

The tricks are easy enough.

Begin by dressing 'smart'. Find out what people in your dream circle are wearing, and dress to match. The fish that sticks out is the first to get eaten.

State what you say with conviction, no tremulous quaver in the voice but firm, self-assured statement. Self-confidence is a powerful thing.

Buy a book of quotes, or bookmark a few good quotation sites on the Internet. Memorise those that appeal to you. An apt, pithy quotation goes a long way toward seducing people into believing you have read the whole book.

Quote studies and statistics. Since most statistics are little more than non-causal correlation, it is absolutely certain you will be able to find something which can be made to support your point. If you can't think of anything on the spot, make something up. From "The Simpsons": Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything. 14% of people know that!

You could try switching an unfamiliar topic or question so that it becomes something safer, on familiar, practiced ground which makes you come across better (and in the process turning off the original question entirely), but that one really is a con artist's trick. Another one from "The Simpsons":

"Lisa: I'd like you to explain why we should build a mass transit system in a small town with a centralized population.
"Lyle Lanley [chuckling]: Young lady, that's the most intelligent question I've ever been asked.
"Lisa [pleased]: Really?
"Lyle Lanley: Oh, I could give you an answer. But the only ones who'd understand it would be you and me [confidentially] and that includes your teacher."

Cultivate patience and not in that exaggerated, patronising sigh sort of way. Listen to what people have to say. Not only will you sidestep the possibility of accidentally putting your foot in your mouth, but you might just learn something.

Read, read, read. In addition to its featured article and picture, the front page of Wikipedia gives all kinds of links to things that happened on this date, opening a portal to history. The front section of most newspapers

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