by Cynthia Springsteen

Created on: December 04, 2009

It's Christmas time, songs on the radio, lights on the houses, stores all packed with people, children are getting anxious and yet, your feeling sad. This is going to be your first Christmas without a special loved one. This may due to divorce, work, or even sadly death. What can you do to get through the holidays and snap yourself out of the feelings you are experiencing?

If you just recently got divorced and are facing your first holidays without your husband/wife you may feel as if you are not a whole person right now. There might be children involved and you were a married person with a family. Now, you are back in the single life and not quite sure where you place is. Depending on your relationship with your ex-husband/wife remember they are going through the same things you are. Make sure you surround yourself with family and friends. They understand what you are going through and leaning on them during this time will help hold you up. If you have children, think of what they are experiencing without their parents together this Christmas. As hard as it might be try to not be selfish and think only of yourself.

If you have to be away from your loved ones this holiday season because of work, realize how lucky you truly are. While so many families are experiencing job loss, layoffs or just lack of finding work this year, you have something to be so thankful for. This is not to say that just because you have work that you would not miss your family or have an easy time away from them during the holiday season. Talk to your family as often as possible. If at all possible use a Webcam to be able to see them and speak to them as if you are in the same room. With all luck next year you can be there. You might want to plan a special dinner and exchanging of gifts when you get back, celebrate the holiday twice!

If this holiday season is your first without a loved one you have lost to heaven, no one can sympathize more than me on this one. This can truly be hardest thing that you ever have to experience. Remember, you have every right to feel the way you do and if you are in the middle of the grief process trying to expedite it will not make it any better. It is normal to feel this sense of loss to your family and everyone in your family is feeling the same way. Many may try to act as if they are past it and yet, deep down this really is not possible. How I got through this one was to do everything I could to still feel that the person I lost was still here. Still hang their stocking, fill it with things they liked, buy an ornament, put their picture in it and hang it proudly on your tree. It is normal to feel sad, but remember and cherish those who are still here with you and hold onto them tight. These people need you just as much as you need them and sharing in this will help you get through the days ahead.

As you move through this Christmas without you for whatever reason you may have this year, focus on the true meaning of Christmas, sing a long with the songs on the radio, lets face it we all know everyone by heart. Its okay to laugh, laughter is truly the best medicine there is to all of us. Cry, there is nothing wrong with tears and they do help to strengthen you. Get up and dance, another wonderful way to feel emotion. Remember, you are lucky to be alive, take each day as the gift it truly is, for life truly is a wonderful gift we all have been given.

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