by Martina Billings-McAtee, RN

Created on: December 04, 2009

Discipline is an unfortunate necessity of parenting. The form of discipline, however, does not need to be violent. If a child is given firm guidelines from very early on, corporal punishment shouldn't be necessary. Most parents don't feel the need to raise their hands to their children when they are infants because they know that if a child misbehaves they can simply pick them up and remove them from the situation. As children get older and discipline becomes more complicated, parents tend to fall back on what is easiest. Why force your child to sit in a time out chair when you can whack them on the butt and be done with it?

It worked for our parents, right? Sometimes yes and sometimes no. If a child is taught from an early age that when you say no and the rules are not followed there are consequences, they become conditioned to trust that you mean what you say. This allows children a degree of safety. Children need barriers and rules, but violence teaches children that when somebody doesn't do what they tell them to they have the right to retaliate with violence. Spanking a child while telling them they shouldn't hit sends mixed messages and can breed resentment as they get older and realize that their parents have a do as I say not as I do mentality.

Spanking can also backfire as children get older and are not as easy to "spank". As they get older they may decide that if you are permitted to hit them, then maybe they should be permitted to fight back. This is just setting up a potentially dire situation in which the violence can escalate out of control.

If a child is taught that good behavior is rewarded and bad behavior leads to being removed from the activities they enjoy they will learn to seek out that positive approval. While there are exceptions to every rule there are numerous studies showing that spanking not only doesn't make a lasting impression but that it actually can stunt development and lead to children being more rebellious.

Spanking may sometimes, on exceptionally rare occasions, be necessary but it must be used as nothing short of a last resort. There are several far more effective disciplinary techniques that a parent should try before resorting to spanking. Keeping violence out of your relationship can only strengthen the bond between parent and child and create a trusting environment for your child to grow.

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