by Hanna M. Jagow

Created on: December 04, 2009

The word "neuroses" is not commonly used to described childhood problems in a psychiatric setting, but it is a good word for those ordinary bothersome things that children do to make the adults around them pull their own hair out.

Children who have a "mental health disorder" can demonstrate symptoms in overt ways, or not. Sometimes it takes a professional team weeks to determine what is actually causing certain behaviors, especially if there has been trauma such as abuse or domestic violence in the home.

However, a neurotic behavior is more subtle, and can usually be handled by good parenting skill. Here are a few of the kinds of issues any child might exhibit.

Tantrums

When a child cannot tolerate frustration to the point where he or she will "throw a fit," the next step is to note how often this occurs, how long the tantrums last, and finally, what will be the best way to decrease the number of events and their severity. A reward system might work, helping the child problem-solve at school, and sometimes simple behavior management techniques.

Determining what the child does not want to lose, and allowing them to earn that thing back by practicing better control is teaching a skill they will use for life. The things taken should only be gone for a short time, then longer if the behavior persists, until the child understands that controlling his body and emotions feels good for two reasons-not losing your MP3 player for several days is cool, and being in control is even cooler.

Sometimes children will not be able to stop a tantrum, so teaching them ways to self-comfort and ground themselves is helpful. Music, coloring, sitting quietly on their bed for a few minutes, whatever works for that child is best. Celebrate with them when tantrums get shorter or less frequent, and especially when they have been able to stop one before it starts.

Wetting the Bed

Children who wet the bed past a reasonable age should be seen by a medical doctor to determine if there is a physical cause. If not, the child should not be shamed or blamed. Pull-ups can be a very good solution, allowing the child the dignity of caring for themselves discreetly and saving their bedding from over-laundering. Any kind of intervention that causes more anxiety will only exacerbate the problem.

Stealing

Most children will go through a stage when they cannot resist taking things they find fascinating and desirable, although the things do not belong to them. The best way to handle this is to matter-of-factly

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