by Tonia Hooper

Created on: December 02, 2009

The nightmare began in early December, 2008. I received a call from my brother, telling me that my oldest child, Jamey, was currently in jail on drug charges. I remember thinking this can't be true; surely my baby is not in jail. It took a while to get the details, and actually realize how much trouble my son was in.

At the time of his arrest Jamey was only 1 week short of his 21st birthday, a milestone that should have been an exciting and memorable time, and as he would later discover this period of his life would indeed be memorable, but not with the happy & carefree moments of a typical 21 year old. The year of 2009 would turn out to be a trying time for our entire family. I realized that my son had been traveling down the wrong path in life, and began to feel that this may have actually saved his life.

My children were blessed to have wonderful grandparents, who adored them and tried to give them all that they wanted (even though that may not be exactly what they needed at the time). Seeing the joy and smile on the faces of those you love just melts your heart, so the grandparents, like most, have been generous to a fault. In Jamey's case, being the first grandchild of my parents was doted on by everyone. He grew into a handsome and likable young man with many friends. As a teenager Jamey was what you would call a follower, he was easily influenced by his friends, and sometimes made decisions that were not the best. Pushing the boundaries and trying new things is not unusual in today's society; and experimenting with drugs and alcohol is common. Jamey was caught up with all those things that seem harmless at the time; and he became very good at hiding the symptoms of his drug use.

My husband and I divorced, which placed a great strain on everyone, including Jamey. No matter how much we love and want to protect our children from the bumps in life, and no matter the promises we make to ourselves or our children, the after effects of a divorce are traumatic and can have lifelong effects. Although Jamey appeared well adjusted, he did have pent up feelings that he would not discuss with me or his father. Eventually I remarried; but this was a difficult time period for us all. Although I tried to reassure them that I was not putting my new husband before them, it was difficult to balance my life and I felt a tremendous guilt. The divorce had a much greater effect on the children than I ever realized. I now know that I lost the respect because they

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