by Edgar Suarez Lopez

Created on: December 02, 2009

Christianism. hrmmp....

Having been raised in a religious family, I shouldn't really be making fun of my own religion, because, I tell you, while there's nothing funny about being Christian, but, there is!

So, Hey! teenagers who seek some sense in life through religion, hold your horses! there are a few things you must know first.

First off, you're either a Christian, or you-are-not, its black, or white, there's no place in between for sissies, buckle up and decide, save the:

"Oh, well, I believe there IS something, I'm just not sure what it is..."

the "I know god's there, I just follow his word adapting it to myself."

If you're enlisting to the Christianarmy, with the ultimate commander and his lieutenant Jesus, you must do things by the book, what book? Yeah, that book, the Bible. you have to be willing to cut your hand off to avoid touching yourself, and to pop your eye out too, to avoid looking. read this:

Matthew 5,29/30 says:

"If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell."

Well, We all knew that you could look but not touch. now you can't look OR touch, yourself!

Then there's Jesus, who I believe was the best politician of all times.

But the best thing in the bible is, the fact that it is like the longest, oldest soap opera to have ever been written.

Episode 3: Will Adam and Eve steal the apple and condemn humanity forever, will they get kicked out of heaven?Next week on Smallparadise! catch it on CBS every Thursday night.

Episode 2497: Will Khaine kill Aebel? will he kill his own brother? Next week on Sma......

Episode 12434543543079575093759437598375: Will Christ make his relationship with Mary Magdalene public, will her secret past (prostitution) be revealed?

Then there's Satan, Oh Satan! guilty of everyone's sins since day 1!, Have you been sleeping with your secretary? blame Satan! your wife suffered an accident, where she accidentally stabs herself in the back 32 times? blame Satan!

Poor Satan is...well who is he?...well, Satan is that elder brother who feels ignored, jealous of his little brother, problem being, Satan, as god's first creation, is the elder of 142834728394917204917042983470982704 brothers and sisters, ants,spiders, dogs, and every other little

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