by Maria Camera

Created on: December 02, 2009

There used to be an aftershave commercial starring Jack Palance in which he stated, with a cocky smile, "Confidence is very sexy, don't you think?" For some reason, that commercial stayed with me for years. It was played for humor, but when you think about it, aren't most of us attracted to confident people?

When it comes to Ballroom dance, whether you are a dancer, or a student, or a teacher, confidence is probably the number one factor that can make the difference between being a great dancer or just an average one. As an amateur who also competes in pro-am competitions, I have been given many forms of advice from my dance instructor/partner. I have also been advised by judges at the competitions, some of whom come around to the dance studios periodically to coach students. If you are thinking that the most important thing to have out there on the dance floor is good timing, accurate foot placement, or graceful arms, think again! The judges begin to pay close attention to you when you walk out onto that floor. Are you looking down? NOT good. Are you smiling? A bright smile on your face, even if it is somewhat forced, is crucial. Are you nervous? There is nothing wrong with being nervous. Even the most experienced dancers get nervous. The trick is to not let it show. Most of us probably don't consider ourselves as "confident" people. It is how others perceive us that is important, in this instance. So, how do we portray the image of a confident dancer? It isn't that difficult. Stand tall, smile, don't fidget, project a somewhat arrogant, I'm-above-you-all attitude, and that's about it. Voila! You have just become a Confident Ballroom Dancer.

Not all of us compete, though. Is confidence important in social dancing? In dance clubs, or at weddings? Yes, yes, and yes. Confidence is ALWAYS important. At dance clubs, who do you watch? The person slouching in the corner? The one who looks embarrassed to be out there, and who subsequently makes YOU feel uncomfortable? Or do you watch the dancers who are laughing, doing their "thing", and enjoying it? At weddings, some of us dance, and some of us don't. Many of the ones who don't are staying off the dance floor out of fear. Fear of maybe appearing silly, or thinking that they "can't" dance. It doesn't matter if you are a good dancer or not. If you are having fun, enjoying the music and the company around you, that's really all that matters. And, surprisingly, if you allow yourself to do that, most people will view you as being the confident one of the group.

This can apply to so many different aspects of your life, not just dance. Just remember, the more you practice this, the more you will begin to believe in yourself, and before you know it, you will not only be a confident dancer, but a confident person, as well. And that, as Jack Palance said so many years ago, is VERY sexy.

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