by Michael Harrison

Created on: December 02, 2009

Hunters have always fascinated me more than the hunting itself. The lengths and expense of what these people will do to go hunting is mind boggling. For people who live in rural areas that hunt to put food on the table, I completely understand your demise and wish better times to come your way. I have no objection to you taking to the woods for sustenance. Everybody else, we need to talk. I have a friend who likes to go deer hunting every time the season comes around and he asked me if I wanted to go with him to the deer lease this year. My response: Let's see. You want me to get dressed in camouflage, pick up a large caliber rifle, smear deer urine on my clothes and the ground around me, sit and freeze my butt off in the winter cold, and wait for a large dog to come up and sniff me out so I can blow his brains out and feel like a man. Is that about right?

I dressed in cammies when I was in the military and that was for a more important reason than hunting deer. The large caliber rifle I had was for protecting myself and the assets I was tasked with guarding. Deer were not on the list of potential threats to take over a weapons storage area. The urine thing speaks for itself. There is not enough liquor in the world to make me do that, although I've had a few friends over the years who would get so blasted drunk they would use their own urine for that purpose. That didn't have anything to do with attracting a deer though. Worked wonders as a people repellent. There are a few things that will bring me out in the cold, making snowmen or having a snowball fight with my kids. Going to a football or hockey game, walking the neighborhood and looking at Christmas decorations...something that has an entertainment value with a payoff. I've known guys to go deer hunting who stay out for a week and come home not having caught anything but a nasty cold. I'll pass.

There's guys who say they do it for the sport. Where's the sport? Are the deer getting more aggressive and I missed the report? The last I checked, these animals run like crazy at the first sign of a threat. In football if you hit someone who's in a defenseless position you get flagged for that. Severe enough offenses are usually followed by a fine from the league. Maybe we need to get deer hunting refs to keep those guys in check. Then there's the guy who says he does it because he likes the taste of deer meat. To that I say, go buy a summer sausage, I've had deer meat before, it's pretty close. For most

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