by Elizabeth G

Created on: February 16, 2007   Last Updated: May 20, 2007

Just a little bit further. Almost there. This race is almost over! I'm in pain, but I can suck it up for just a few more minutes. I'm almost done. I've worked so hard to get this far. I can't mess it all up now. This sucks! Ouch. Okay. I can do it. Just keep going. I'm so close. I want this race to end so badly. Why do I torture myself this way? UGH.

Oh my Godis that the finish line? Yes! That's it! That's the finish line! Just up ahead. (Suddenly, I get this huge adrenaline boost and sprint across the finish line).

Just the sight of the finish line instantly changes my mood and I am suddenly re-energized and excited. Once I see it, I know that my goal is within seconds of my grasp. I feel releived, surprised, re-energized, excited, and a whole range of emotions. In that brief moment when I first see the finish line and run toward it (before I actually cross it) I experience this amazing sensation. If I could wrap up that feeling, both physical and mental, and access it whenever I wanted, I would be on top of the world.

I'm a goal-setter. Ever since I was a young child, I have been setting goals and reaching for them. But many times, I find that I work really hard, and I come so close to meeting my goal, or attaining whatever it is I wantand then I don't get it. It's snatched away. When I was a kid I used to have a dream that I found a huge treasure chest of gold, and just as I was about to touch it, I would wake up-before "having" the treasure for my own. It's true that I do meet many of my goals, but there are also a lot of things in life that I have strived for, or simply wanted, and have not gotten. Things that I have come very close to, things that have been dangling right in front of my face, only to be snatched up before I could grab them.

There is nothing more frustrating than being able to see exactly what it is you want, to have it within sight, but then not be able to get it. Sometimes I wish I wouldn't even come close. Because then I wouldn't know what I was missing. This seems to be a recurring theme in my life. Coming so extremely close to something, and yet missing it. Sort of like being second best. Going on three job interviews and not being selected. Auditioning for the school play and being cast as the understudy. Being an "alternate" for a drill team dance because I didn't catch on as quickly as the other girls. Having an amazing romantic relationship where everything is blissfully happy, and I think I've found "the one" but then watching it

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