by Dan Williams

Created on: December 01, 2009

Growing up and changing into an adult? Well, we do grow, and it happens to be upward. As for as changing into an adult, we cannot escape the chronological effects of time. Chronologically we may be an adult, however emotionally that is usually tested with time. We are always faced with life trauma, death, happiness, expectations, wants and desires. Our character is tested and developed over time. We always have choices, we can implement the changes or ignore the obvious and tuck our head in the sand, refusing to face our tribulations. This leads to emotional immaturity, and an inability to face adult hood head on.

For myself, my amount of failures have been extraordinary, which has led me on a constant quest of reassessing and facing my own truth. Becoming an adult is not a conscious process, but an insidious, perpetual journey that can take us to new introspective heights. I chose the easy path, it did nothing for me but cause unhappiness and torment. When I realized the difficult path had the potential to bring me happiness, I focused heavily in that direction. Relationships are very similar, there needs to be two parties who are open and honest, and show dedication toward each other if there is to be a healthy adult life.

Becoming an adult for myself is the ability to be introspective, take on responsibility of daily life, give back to a loved one, avoid selfish wants, and revel in the pleasures of teaching or sharing my experiences. It is of my opinion, that we do a tremendous disservice by not sharing the stories. I am not referring to stories where our fathers walked ten miles in the snow to school everyday, but our mistakes and failures and how that led us to success and happiness.

My failed marriages, with my poor judgement can hopefully give insight for another not to reach out and mend broken wings. Look for health in others, do not fall for the pitfalls of love by superficial positive traits but find the inner values of another that have substance. As a child we are appropriately selfish, and focused on ourselves, our needs, and wants. Our values are frequently molded by society, media and peers. Until we realize that life and adulthood has more to offer than trends, music, and fashion we cannot successfully reach adult hood with ease. I will continue to make mistakes, I will continue to learn and refuse to let mistakes disillusion my perspective on life.

From car accidents in my teens, to assuming a love views the relationship on the same level as I. Mistakes will continue. It is the mistakes and failures that bring us along the boat ride of life into adult hood. As in a boat we will experience storms at sea, equipment malfunction, not preparing well enough, and a few unexpected rocks under the tide that will scrape and damage our hull. There will be times we may come close to sinking, however we will learn to bail, as well as keep dry. A few of us will get lucky with our experience and be able to share the boat ride with another. There is nothing better, and I honestly mean nothing better than sharing life with a loved one. Our children will not be with us forever, they will grow and walk their own walk. Who then do we chose to walk into the land of grey hair with? As in the movie, " Into the Wild," McCandless states, all be it too late. " Life is real when shared." Adulthood is learning that indeed the importance of sharing life is a crucial part of the dance.

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