by Michael Harrison

Created on: December 01, 2009

Ahhh, toys. Toys, toys, toys. Let us first debunk some well established myths here first. A car is not a toy. Got that ladies? A car to a man, especially one that dotes over his car or has a hobby that involves restoring old vehicles, is a living breathing thing. We take pride in them, we take care of them and we nurture them. A toy is something to be used in a playful manner that may or may not be damaged in the process of that play. The only exception to that rule is if your man has a 4-wheel drive vehicle for playing in the mud. Those are toys, a car is not. Referring to a car, be it a hot rod, classic cruiser or exotic sports car, is an atrocity and needs to stop. Shame on you, you'd feel the same way if we dwindled the description of your shoe collections to just "footwear".

Now when it comes to actual toys, that's what we want, toys. I don't know why there is such a barrier of communication when it comes this subject. Most single guys that are in a relationship will never admit to their significant other that they want toys. They're trying to pull off the illusion that they are a mature person. This couldn't be further from the truth. This includes married men as well, but we will get to that in a minute. Men never have to get in touch with our inner child, we keep constant contact with him all the time. If you don't believe me just get your husband/boyfriend around a video game system and see how long it takes for him to lose interest in the conversation the two of you are having. He'll see that piece of modern technology hooked up to the t.v. and the sparkle hits his eye. He still hears you, but he's losing focus. Soon the controller starts calling his name, now you sound like Charlie Browns teacher. After a few minutes you get the "no look" conversation. He's no longer making eye contact with you and his responses are nothing more than quick nods and a series of grunts. This is because the video game has complete control of him, it's calling him to duty. Whether it be fending off hordes of zombies in a post-apocalyptic world or saving the planet from international terrorists, nothing can stop him from answering the call.

Married guys with children have it easiest. Especially ones that have a son, as I do. Christmas and birthdays are not only exciting for the kids, they are also exciting for the dads. This is because he knows that on Christmas morning he gets to help put the toys together and "test" them to make sure they work properly. Now girl

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