by Cate Kulak

Created on: December 01, 2009

The key for handling holiday cards, just like everything else at the holidays, is balance. Here, the balance is to make sure that family and friends know that they are remembered while still having time for daily life, as well as for other holiday events. A personalized yet simply worded note on a card can do wonders to help people enjoy the season.

Pre-printed cards, while appropriate in business relationships, should never be sent to friends and family. When sending holiday cards in business, the goal is to remind contacts of your existence; cards to friends and family should make them feel like more than just an entry in your address book. Well-written holiday newsletters are a different matter, as they often contain more information than could ever be repeated individually; just try to refrain from bragging or being overly maudlin; one family, after a year fraught with funerals, wrote theirs from the perspective of their dog, who noted the losses and the sadness of the family, but kept that upbeat family dog outlook throughout the note.

A personal note, even in the presence of a family newsletter, is mandatory to let people know that they are important. However, there are factors that require moderation in just how personal those notes can be. First and most obvious is time, but a more important issue is the fact that many put their cards on display; getting too personal can turn into overexposure. A single sentence or two strikes the right balance. In one or two full sentences, it is possible to let someone know that they are important, without writing a eulogy-worthy tribute or revealing details that should not be revealed in a holiday display. So how to choose those sentences that you do include? That depends on your relationship the rest of the year.

If the card is for someone that you normally see at the holidays, your note can let them know that you are looking forward to that. It can be as simple as "Looking forward to seeing you" or "We missed you last year - hope you can make it this year" since either makes it clear that their presence is noted and appreciated. If you have a personal memory from past celebrations, a quick reminder of that is an easy inclusion: "I hope the kids will be able to help hand out gifts again this year," or "Hope you'll be making your margaritas again!" Alternatively, if the card is for someone you wish you saw more of during the year, a quick mention of that fact will make the recipient feel special.

When the card is for someone who lost a loved one in the past year or is experiencing any other kind of hard time, the pressure is immense. Saying the exactly right thing is important to the point of being intimidating. The best way to get over the intimidation is to remember that everyone wants to be reminded that they are not alone; if you are at a complete loss, just a short line that lets the recipient know that they are in your thoughts will make their holidays brighter. Wishing them "Merry Christmas," or a "happy" anything will feel as false to them as it does to you. Toning it down to "hoping for better times in the coming year" or something similar keeps the card optimistic but honest. Regardless of what you write, the most important thing is simply to get that card in the mail, even if the best you can manage is "thinking of you."

Christmas cards began as a tradition to let far-flung family know that they were still being thought of during the season. Keeping that intention central in your mind as you go through your cards will let you get through your list in a way that is meaningful to your card recipients yet still allows you to enjoy the rest that the holidays have to offer.

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