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Can you say "I Love You" too much?

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Yes
58% 1442 votes Total: 2507 votes
No
42% 1065 votes

by Alexander Fitch

Created on: December 01, 2009   Last Updated: December 02, 2009

Absolutely, yes, you can say, I love you too much. Its use may be debatable to some, but fundamentally tipping balance of love and attraction will eventually consume the relationship. The commonality of the phrase I love you is considerably high, but that is not a surprise. Romantic relationships are the most popular social trend across the world, most especially in North America where freedom of expression is encouraged and nourished. Communicating ones love may differ in expression from coast to coast, but love remains the same for everyone. In societies across the world, the phrase I love you is universal, and is now casually recited by our Western society more than ever before.

This three letter phrase can result in both intense feelings of elation when it is accepted and terrible feelings of depression when it is rejected. Paradoxically, love is one sided in which one partner, or both partners, of the relationship are selfish. Incessant use of the phrase I love you is a selfish because it is expected that the gesture will be returned and if it is not they more often feel rejected; he or she constantly need to know that their love is affirmed. To anyone, the obligation to prove ones love is tiresome.

Nobody will disagree in that the beginning of a relationship is what causes the most elation. Nobody will disagree in knowing we consciously (or unconsciously) want to express how we really feel for our partner. Because of a social norm we make ourselves refrain from saying I love you too much, and for good reason. In doing so, regardless if we are aware of it, we subconsciously or consciously want to maintain a balance in our relationships.

In wanting to keep the balance in order we try not to appear too appealing in some cases this isn't true as it may cause our partner to withdraw as it is perceived as neediness. Nobody enjoys the responsibility of being depended upon by their partner. Although it is paradoxically unknown to a couple, both partners tip the balance in more than ways than they realize both occupy a state of neediness and dependence at one point in a relationship. Unfortunately, relationships will often fizzle out because one partner feels too obligated from the other to return their love.

However, excessive mention of I love you doesn't always end the relationship. More often, as a relationship matures into long term attachment, saying these three words appears automatic and feels unauthentic and eventually perceived as redundant. By expressing physical affection through hugs, kisses, or holding hands are simple ways of conveying ones love and feel more authentic to the recipient.

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